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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysDec. 31, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Be Bold (Let Your Light Shine)

I wish I could tell you that it is “easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy” (as my 5-yr-old likes to say) to parent children who have been adopted or to be a foster parent. I’d love to say that once a child enters your home either for foster care or adoption, all problems go away and it’s just downhill and smooth sailing from there. It would be fantastic for me to declare that I never second guess myself and that we are all about lollipops, rainbows, and laughter. However, if I were to say any of these things, my words would be false. They would […]

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Adoption, Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationDec. 28, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Letting Go

Sometimes when you love something so much you have to let it go. Sometimes life requires you to do hard, painful things because of a love so deep you have for a person. This is where my heart is right now, loving something so fiercely that I have chosen to say goodbye. In just a few short weeks we will say goodbye to E and his brother and I know it’s the best possible decision for them and us, but saying goodbye still isn’t going to be easy. When the boys came back into care in December we knew the […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Vulnerable ParentsDec. 24, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Second chances: The heart of Christmas and loving the birth parents

The tears that brimmed my eyes surprised me as I thought of my beautiful Baby S beginning her unsupervised longer visits with her birth parents and extended family members. I rejoiced that I no longer had to sit at a food court in the mall for hours, but I actually enjoyed that alone time reading, writing, praying, or even visiting with friends. A friendship also bloomed between the birth parents and me as we saw each other so often and had many opportunities to chat. Birth mom began confiding in me. How sweet that God would provide this special relationship […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingDec. 21, 2018

Forgotten Friday | No Room in the Inn: An Advent Reflection of a Foster Mom

“And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger because there was no place for them in the inn.” Luke 2:7 I’ll be honest here. I have been avoiding writing this blog the last few days. Why? I didn’t want to dampen the Christmas spirit writing about the plight of foster kids. Sounds cowardly? Maybe. But I can’t avoid it any longer. I need to write about it. I woke up this morning to a voicemail asking me if I have room for a sibling set of four kids […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysDec. 17, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Hello.

We’re on the no-call list. After our last placement we told our licensing worker we needed a long break. To rest and to heal ourselves before we might be ready to care for a hurting child. But last week, she called anyway. Two precious sisters needed a home, a bed, a safe place. We have that. And in this season of celebrating Jesus who was born without a home, it seemed fitting to share our abundance. And so, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Even amid the yeses, I have a hundred questions and a thousand more that I’m forgetting to ask. […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsDec. 14, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Life After Adoption: She Misses Them

Not long ago, I was putting our little Layla to bed when she began asking me about her birth parents. “When am I going to see them again?” “I don’t know honey,” is all I could answer at first. “I know it’s really hard but you have to trust Mommy and Daddy, ’cause we love you and we are here to protect you and keep you safe. We also want to do what is healthy for you and we don’t feel it is healthy for you right now to see your Birth Mommy and Birth Daddy.” She seemed to take […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysDec. 10, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | On Offering Compassion and Doing Justice When I’m Afraid.

In this journey there is a constant testing that has brought me to tears, to clenched fists with exasperation, and to my knees. The process of writing is a friend to me. It takes me by the hand and helps me relate to the emotion that swells within and looms large in me. What begins in her has so much to teach me. Wounds that may be invisible to many are constantly present. But God is gracious in gently calling us all toward healing. He does not force, He beckons. She asks again and again with her words and behavior, “can […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Care Affects on Kids Already in Your Home, Foster ParentingDec. 7, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Foster HOPE

“Why did you decide to do foster care?” the case worker asked me on the Monday after our first weekend with a child in our home. “Well, we have room in our home and love in our hearts” is the answer that I gave that day, and it’s the answer that I give today if most people ask. It’s easy, and it’s fairly honest. But about a million times a day, I have to keep coming back to the rest of the story, the other unspoken reasons for why we are foster parents. Because about a million times a day, […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysDec. 3, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | 5 Insightful Suggestions to Help You Father Well

I recently began a podcast series entitled Dad to Dad. In these interviews I sit down with another adoptive dad and talk about what it is like to be an adoptive dad—our shortcomings, funny stories, and what we find that helps us to father well. Recently I interviewed Marshall Lyles (if you missed it, you can get it HERE), and I asked Marshall this question—What helps you to father well? Marshall shared four very insightful ideas that help him, and I add one more. Even though Marshall and I talk about being adoptive dads, these suggestions are helpful for every […]

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Adoption, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 30, 2018

Forgotten Friday | This Gift Called Adoption

Nearly 12 years ago, I was a young mom of one. Paige, still an infant, was lying on my bed while I folded laundry and listened to a radio interview of an adoptive family sharing their story. I felt a tug in my spirit and fear gripped my heart. “Oh Lord, I hope you are not trying to tell me something.” Adoption scared me. It was unknown. It was not my dream. It was not my plan…well, unless we couldn’t have biological children. That’s what we said at least. But God. Slowly, we became more aware of this thing called […]

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