Last week, you asked about my kids.
You questioned how they were processing and coping and adjusting in our ever-evolving lifestyle. Babies are frequently coming or going or coming AND going. Our home is a habitual hustle and our lives are run by the rhythm of court dates and case workers.
We are invariably inconvenienced by the poor life choices of others.
And we like it that way.
We chose this.
And we choose this.
You’re worried about my kids. I get that. Their well-being isn’t far from my every thought either, so I appreciate the kind concern. You want me to focus on them and you’re cringing because you perceive my care for foster kids as neglecting my own precious people.
There’s this notion forced upon my family that says I’m not loving them enough.
Hear me, clearly. My undying devotion to one child doesn’t diminish my unconditional love for another.
I’m not choosing between the babies I birthed and the others I hold for mere moments. I’m not sorting through my children…I’m selecting them all.
I’m available at every monumental occasion and major milestone for my foster kiddos-doctor’s appointments, court appearances, visitations, vaccinations, reunifications and transitions. But I’m also the persistent presence for each fleeting fragment of everyday events.
From afar, I can see how it my family’s dynamic is misunderstood.
The weight of another mama’s baby demands more than I can give. My hands are full but there’s somehow always room for more. There’s juggling involved but my bios aren’t watching from the sidelines, unsure of their spot. They have a secure place too, only it looks so unlike their suburban sidekicks’.
Please don’t question why I’m laying my life down for a kid I didn’t birth and probably won’t shelter for long. For now, he belongs to me, so I call him mine. And my fidelity won’t be found fading in the hardest days to come.
My care for kids from pathetic predicaments doesn’t come with qualifications. The moment they cross my threshold, I promise to provide whatever they need. Whether its my touch or my time, it’s theirs for the taking.
I’m either choosing them, or I’m not.
I’m their mom for a moment, or I’m not.
I’m ALL in.
They belong to me today…and in some ways, forever.
And while this calling brings discomfort and change and challenge, it doesn’t lessen my love for my people. My love isn’t rationed…its multiplied and poured out by a Creator who just does that kind of thing. His love is free and so is mine.
The commitment comes with a price but my fierce foster mama love is always free.
Kristy and Zach are biological parents to 4 beautiful kiddos under the age of 9. They have called 12 other babies their own since starting their journey as a foster family in the summer of 2012. They say yes to the hard and crazy as they follow Jesus on this journey of surrender and obedience. Kristy loves coffee, good conversation, comfy clothes and Anne of Green Gables. She is assertive and loves change as she learns to thrive in the chaos. Follow Kristy on her personal blog – This Hard Calling.