Experiencing God as King has long been my thing, but grasping His deep love for me has often proven elusive….until he recently revealed it in a most profound way.
It was Friday and I was taking my foster son out of the car after dropping the big kids off at school. Smiling at that darling face, I hefted him onto my hip and smooched my thousandth kiss. He buried his little head in my neck and I marveled again at my love for him.
Because despite the fact that he’s not from my body, I love this baby boy.
The way he smiles from the inside out. Peach fuzz head and ears that poke out. His double chin and chunky thighs. The unbelievable softness of his skin. His little arm hooked around my neck.
I love how he’s found his feet and thinks they’re hilarious. I love that he loves my singing voice even though it’s hideous. I love the way he grins with two fingers stuck in his mouth and a line of drool dripping down. I love that his favorite place to be is with me.
I love him despite the fact that he has nothing to offer me except dirty diapers and infantile affection.
I love every square inch of this new chick with a fierceness I could not have predicted. But as I considered my deep affection for him, I remembered again the possibility that we might get separated soon. And if that happens chances are good that he will never know about me. Or my love for him. And that thought shatters my heart. Every. Single. Time.
Because I’m eager. Desperate. Passionate for him to know my love.
I want him to know that he brings me unspeakable joy. How I think he’s wonderful and that I love to simply sit and stare at him. I want him to know the way I marvel over who he is and covet his continued presence in my life. To know I am jealous for him and would do anything to protect him. How I am for him. And that I yearn for a relationship with him that does not end. I want him to know I wish my place in his life was secure. That I shake with sobs over the thought of losing him. And most of all this: That if it were up to me, he would never go a day without experiencing my love for him.
Because my love has the power to change everything for him. In him. Around him. About him. Love is a game changer. A life changer. It transforms circumstances and casts out fears and fights offenders and offers a home. And given the chance I would apply it to his life over and over and over again. I could change the trajectory of his life with it.
As I stood in the driveway with love for my foster son overwhelming my heart, God gently reminded me how weeks ago I had asked Him to help me grasp the depth of his love. And then He said.
Look at your love for him. You’ll see my love for you.
And for the first time in my life, I bowed my head and wept over the intensity of His love for me.
Ya’ll, I grasped hold of it. How he deeply adores me. How he graciously pursued me. How he gave everything to have me. It was the single most profound experience of God’s love I’ve ever been wrecked with.
And I was suddenly, shockingly, irreversibly compelled to share it with those who have not taken hold of it. Not His Lordship. Not His Faithfulness. Not His Majesty. His Life Changing Love.
Because there are so many separated from him. And what if they never know that He marvels over them? What if no one ever tells them that He craves a relationship with them? That He has moved heaven and earth to have them? That His every thought is for them? That He grieves over the thought of losing them? And how if it were up to Him, they would never go another day without experiencing his profound, life altering, senseless love for them?
His love is The Game Changer. The Life Changer. It moves mountains and casts out fears and fights offenders and offers a home. It can change the trajectory of a life. His love has the power to change EVERYTHING.
It is life changing love.
Beth is Mama Bird to the four chicks in her nest; two bio and two foster, and Wife Supreme to one good-looking pastor. She’s quick to say that nothing in life has ever refined or challenged her more than fostering, and is passionate about sharing what she is learning with others. She loves writing at www.justbethlawrence.com.