Family and friends–
I get it. We prayerfully make the decision to bring another child into our home and by doing so we unintentionally indirectly ask more from you in our relationship. Without warning we ask you love and accept a child we do not tell you much about. We assume you are willing to do this just because you share life with us. We indirectly ask you to celebrate with our home when things are good. We ask you to support us when things are rough. And, we sometimes put you in a situation to grieve the loss of the child you have come to love as ours but do little to help you through it.
It is not that we are oblivious to your grief too, it is simply because there is so much we feel like we cannot say and honestly sometimes during and after a transition we are so emotionally strained by what it takes to accomplish a “successful transition” we have little to offer anyone not directly involved. I apologize for the expectations on our relationship being a foster and adoptive home creates for you.
But I have one more request.
Please do not pray against our child’s case plan.
I hear your heart and sincerely appreciate how you feel like you are doing the right thing when you say things like “I’m praying that she (bio mom) doesn’t get (insert name here) back” or “I pray you keep this one.” Or at the time of reunification saying that you pray that the child comes back to my home. Oh, my loved ones, I really do know that your intentions are good. You love us, you love these children we bring into your world. You want to protect all of us from anything unpleasant and just do not have enough information to know what to pray for or what to say sometimes. So please let me help you.
Please pray for God’s plan for our children whatever it is. Foster care is, at least always initially, about reunification. Pray for the healing and redemption of the family. Pray that our little one’s parents would come to know Jesus and pray for our role in that. Pray for permanency absolutely, but not that biological parents would fail to achieve that. Pray that upon reunification the parent(s) are ready and able to provide the best life for the child we all love. Pray for peace and comfort for everyone involved. Pray for the decision making of our agency workers and court personnel.
Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” As foster parents, we must hold onto God’s promises for the children we invest in. Don’t misunderstand me, we will not sit quietly. If we feel like something is not in the best interest of the child, we will advocate and express our opinions all the way through our agency’s upper management if the situation calls for it.
But, my loved ones, at the end of the day we hold onto God’s will in the life of these kiddos.
Sometimes we hold tightly to God’s promises because we do not feel great about the case plan and need the kind of comfort that only comes from Him. But sometimes we are holding on to the beautiful redemption story we are witnessing unfold for a child and family praising His faithfulness. No matter what direction the case is going, God loves them more than we can fathom and His plans for their life are greater than any recommendations from a social worker, the courts, therapist, CASA, biological parent, my ideas, or yours.
So please family and friends, do not pray against my child’s case plan with limited details. Instead, support us and them by praying for God’s plan in the life of each child and family we seek to serve through foster care.