It had been a series of challenging weeks. Those ones full of highly emotional dialogue with no resolution surrounding our family and the future of the children we call our own. The full effect of my compassion fatigue fully set in when I hung up the phone outside of the grocery store back restroom area where I was hiding on yet another important and unplanned call regarding potential upcoming plans for children in my care.
A few hours later, my four-year-old daughter found a ladybug in the car on my seat. She was outraged that I had not seen “him” and almost sat on him. For the first few minutes, I giggled listening to her rebuke my insensitivity to the situation and enjoyed listening to her speak encouraging comforting words to him who had become “Crawler Flyer” in his short time in her care.
She told him about his new home and how he could not come to school with her but was now part of our family. She asked my husband thoughtful questions about what Crawler Flyer would need to eat and survive. Then came the moment when we informed her that it would be better for Crawler Flyer to live in the garden. I looked at my sweet child and felt my own hidden pain as she held him lovingly in her tiny hand begging her father to find a way for Crawler Flyer to remain in her care. Crawler Flyer is in a jar with some plants on her headboard and she is happy and at peace. And friends, I am happy for her.
The innocent pure love that my daughter demonstrated for this practically invisible ladybug was emotionally charged for me because I’m just like her right now. I, too, am holding a tiny, once overlooked life in my hands begging my Father, fighting back tears, to find a way to keep this life in my own. Like her, I am learning about his changing ongoing needs and asking my Father for guidance. Her spoken pleas for a solution to her father are my silent cries to my Heavenly Father when no one is looking.
We don’t know how long Crawler Flyer will stay; but she doesn’t seem concerned because her father did everything he could to make it work and that’s enough for her. I admire the faith of a child and pray tonight, and going forward, that I too would trust like that about my little buddy.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV