Adoption, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 17, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Everyone Has a Story: Heartbreak and Hope, Part 2

(To read part one, click here)

“She changed her mind.”

I couldn’t believe it. I knew that this was so very common in domestic adoptions and yet, in this case, baby boy would immediately be put into the foster care system, and his mom did not want this. She had shared this with me before, yet she changed her mind. And her decision was final.

I looked over at my friends who were standing outside the nursery. With so many emotions in my heart and tears in my eyes, I slowly walked to them and told them that it seemed like D was changing her mind. We just looked at each other and cried. The Lord gave them such strength at that moment as I saw them proclaim His sovereignty and trust Him completely. I felt horrible as I was the one who introduced them all. I felt the weight of their pain, and yet they were so quick to tell me that this wasn’t my fault. They were not at all upset with me.  I can’t tell you how much I love these two.

I left them then to go talk with D and B (the parents) and to ask them what was going on. We spoke rather passionately, no yelling, but passionately! As I talked to the B (the dad), I had in the back of my mind that he could get up and punch me in the face at any moment! (He didn’t, nor did he come close…just for the record…well, maybe he came closer then I realized but anyway…) I just kept thinking, “I have to fight for my friends and for this baby,” but in reality it was already over. I had to be careful so as not to be coercing D into an adoption decision. I, of course didn’t think of the latter until a social worker came in and asked to speak to them alone. I then got on the phone with J, their adoption worker who told me it was best if we left so as not to be perceived as pushing them into a decision.

I went out to the nurses station and just cried and cried. They took me back behind the desks and talked with me. I just kept thinking about my friends who were hurting in the room down the hall. I called Clint and he answered with “Good news or bad news?” “Horrible news,” I told him and then wept openly. The nurses left me alone and Clint said he would come to be with us. I couldn’t believe this was happening.

Not long after, the nurses talked with DCFS and after that, a wall went up and the nurses couldn’t say another word to me about it all. They then asked us to leave.

As we collected our things and walked back down that long hall, we were in shock and in pain.  None of us understood why things had happened the way they did, but we all felt safe in the arms of Jesus. He knew. We talked and cried a little more together and then we separated ways. It was a low, low.

I drove home empty and numb. So many emotions. And I couldn’t stop thinking about my friends.  But God always brings hope, even in the midst of pain. He is about creating beauty from ashes, even when we don’t understand.

Thursday afternoon, I got a text from my friend. “Jami, what is the baby’s name? My friends, who just became foster parents, picked up a 2 day old baby from the hospital last night! Do you think they have him?!” After we pieced some information together, we knew it had to be him. I just cried and cried. Thank You Jesus!

Turns out, little baby “M” was placed in a wonderful, loving, Christian foster home. This young couple didn’t have any children yet but when they got the call about him, they were so excited to hear that his name was the very name they planned on giving to their own son someday! Amazing God.

I have to tell you, my friends, this experience has opened my eyes even more. I am in this strange and wonderful place of watching God’s hand moving, placing the puzzle pieces together. On one hand, there is pain and loss, and on another hand there are new beginnings and hope, and yet God is in both. He is in everything. He has a purpose in the pain, He has a purpose in the joy. He is weaving a beautiful story that we cannot fully see but we can trust Him completely.

My dear friends stepped out in faith. They allowed themselves to become vulnerable and because of this they experienced great pain, but I’m telling you, their pain was not in vain. God is working mightily in them and making them more like Him. He wants to do that in all of us, but we must be willing to take that first step. My new friends, M’s foster parents, obeyed God’s calling on their life and they were there when baby M needed them the most.

We need Christian foster and adoptive parents. Just this week in our community, DCFS took in 11 kids! Eleven kids who needed a home, a family to love them. Where did they go? There will be more kids taken into care in the weeks to come. This is the sad truth.

Is God calling you? Are you willing to be vulnerable? To take a risk for Jesus? To live out the gospel message of caring for the least of these? Will you seek Him on this? Because of these kids…I just have to ask.

Jami Kaeb

Jami is the founder and Executive Director of The Forgotten Initiative. Jami and her husband, Clint, are parents to seven children: two biological daughters, two sons adopted internationally (Guatemala and Uganda) and a sibling set of three (two boys and a girl) adopted from foster care. Jami shared often on her blog, Life with a Personal God, during her family’s adoption and foster care journeys, and she is now sharing them here in hopes of being an encouragement to you!

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