Blog Archives

Category: Adoption

Adoption, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysApr. 16, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | What I Really Want to Say to Little Man’s Birth Mom

Little man was born on July 24, 2013, and was placed with us on August 1, 2013. He spent his first week in the NICU going through withdrawal and wanted to be held all the time once we had him in our arms. We had no contact with the birth parents until the first mediation meeting that was held December 19, 2013, to discuss the surrender of his half-sibling for adoption with another foster family. I will never forget the first time I laid on eyes on the birth parents–or the emotions that went through me. For a few weeks, […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Ways to ServeApr. 9, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | 5 Areas of Need in Foster Care and Adoption

Have you considered what need in foster care or adoption you can meet? Or are you like I was a few years ago? I really had no idea of what foster care really was. And my thoughts about adoption completely focused on me and my wish to have a child of my own. I naively thought that if I weren’t interested in fostering or adopting then it was of no concern to me. I had a shallow understanding of the needs of foster care and adoption. If you don’t intend on meeting a need of foster care and adoption, you […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingApr. 6, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Can You Ever Really Bond With An Older Child?

When it comes to adopting older children, there’s often a belief that, because they’ve been through so much, it’s impossible to form a healthy bond with them. We’ve discovered something different. In our 15 years of parenting we have had the honor of participating in the lives of 23 children. Most of them returned home or went on to be adopted by their forever families; eight of them have stayed forever. Before I became a parent of an older child, I didn’t think much about bonding and attachment. I am attached to my own parents, brothers and sisters. I have […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Make a Difference MondaysApr. 2, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Taking Care of Roots {a little lesson with my daughter}

My daughter came home from school this past week and said, “Mom, we played foster care at school today.” She then said, “I was the foster child and I had two moms.” I told her that sounded fun and interesting. We went on with the rest of the day and she didn’t mention it again. I thought about this conversation the remainder of the week. My daughter is very smart, willful and can be extremely challenging. She walks to the beat of her own drum and is fierce in so many ways. However, it seems that the older she gets, […]

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Adoption, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 2, 2018

Forgotten Friday | The Moral Dilemma of a Foster Parent

The goal of foster care is reunification, until the state makes an argument that the parental rights should be terminated and a judge rules that decision. For us, Baby I was referred by the state with the intention that his goal will be adoption—so even though his current goal is reunification, we are hoping to eventually adopt him. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. Therein lies the dilemma—as a mom, I don’t want to see his BM fail. I want her to see how amazing he is, […]

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Adoption, Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Make a Difference MondaysJan. 8, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Why Foster Care Matters

I haven’t written much about our foster journey lately. Partly because there isn’t much new to report with S’s case, and partly because we just want to forget that S isn’t our biological child and move on with our lives as a family of five. However, we all know that this is not how the real world works. After a fantastic vacation to Disney where not one person asked us if S was our biological child (bliss!) we were right back to reality with doctor appointments and case worker visits. Even though we are working towards adoption with S, my […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingDec. 8, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Children Are Worth It

I just can’t even tell you how much I love these kids. There are not enough words in my somewhat limited vocabulary that express how rich, deep, authentic and pure my love is for them. They came into my life without expectations. I didn’t care what race or gender they were, or what their histories consisted of. No expectations, just hopeful anticipation. It took me a while (like twenty-five years since the age that barrenness interrupted my life) to hold a baby and feel that smothering, warm and wonderful feeling of motherhood. Sure, I was a foster mother. Sure, my […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingDec. 1, 2017

Forgotten Friday | A Day I Will Never Forget

“Jami, can I ask you a favor?” I knew the distraught voice on the other end of the line was our foster kids’ mom (who was very near her due date). “Can you drive me to the hospital? We don’t have any gas in our car.” She was having contractions every two minutes and she was in a lot of pain. I was still in my PJ’s and robe and was getting my coat on to run the girls to school (in my PJ’s and robe!), so I knew I couldn’t get there right away. I encouraged her to call […]

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Adoption, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, ReunificationNov. 13, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | Speechless: Are you open to keeping this child permanently?

“Are you open to keep her permanently if her parents end up not completing their plan?” After a momentary plight of speechlessness, I managed to stutter a few words to the new social worker that I could not give her a concrete answer. I really had to wrestle with this idea of permanence. After nine years of fostering, how did I forget that this question would always be on the horizon if the birth parents did not complete their requirements for reunifying with their child? None of our foster children have ever stayed and we feel that God has called […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 4, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | 6 Things To Know About Foster-Adoption

My husband and I entered the world of foster-adopt with a narrow no frame of reference to prepare us. We only wanted to be parents. After infertility and a failed infant adoption, we thought foster-adopt would be the quickest path toward our desire. We knew foster care would be difficult, but we had no idea… no idea just how difficult it would be. There seems to be an overall lack of knowledge in the general public regarding foster care and foster-adopt. This can cause misunderstandings that may seem insignificant to those outside the world of foster-adopt, but to those living […]

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