Blog Archives

Category: Adoption

Adoption, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Vulnerable ParentsOct. 3, 2016

Make a Difference Monday | To the mama who made the greatest sacrifice…

Dear Mama, I remember the first time I hugged your neck like it was yesterday. It was a little over a year ago, the first time you met the strangers who were taking care of your son. Chris and I waited anxiously at the agency for your arrival, not knowing how you would respond to us or the situation. I remember these moments so well because they were so very impactful. You met us with grace that day. You thanked us for taking care of your precious boy and you showed gratitude that we were hand chosen by God to […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 30, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Adoption is Not Second Best

Maybe it’s my “mom hair” (thanks, New York Times, for that label) or maybe it’s that I look perpetually tired that encourages near strangers to ask me how many kids I have. At my last dental cleaning, my hygienist (whom I had only met one time prior) asked this very question. “Two,” I replied. “Oh! That’s great!! How old are they?!” “Seven.” I tried to stick with one-word answers because A) she had her hands in my mouth and B) our kids’ entrance to our family is complicated, and I often don’t divulge the details to strangers because I don’t […]

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Adoption, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsAug. 19, 2016

Forgotten Friday | The Bittersweet Nature of Adoption

When we began our journey into foster care and adoption I had no idea what would lie before us. We focused on our needs and wants—we wanted a family—with a tinge of social justice—we needed to care for orphans. We definitely looked at adoption through rose-colored glasses not understanding all that accompanied the journey. CPS placed our son with us when he was about eight-months-old. Immediately both Danielle and I leapt into protective mode. Someone injured this little guy, and we felt called to protect him from further harm. Naturally we intended to protect him from those who caused him […]

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Adoption, Education, Encouragement, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 1, 2016

Forgotten Friday | How to Find Hope on the Road of Foster Care & Adoption

Adoption and foster care can be filled with loneliness, desperation, and defeat. Can you really find hope in-spite of this? The answer is, yes. It starts by understanding something powerful and true. “I don’t think I can take one more day of this,” I said, glaring at the table, with a clinched fist and gritting teeth. My friend agreed. Many colorful words were exchanged between us, that morning, as we sat talking in a restaurant. The steam from our coffee snaked and twisted through the air, disappearing, as if hope was slowly disappearing with it. We shared similar wounds. Both […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Education, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMay. 20, 2016

Forgotten Friday | 3 Things My Kids’ Tantrums Have Taught Me

When my husband and I chose foster to adopt to expand our family, we were prepared to love and provide for our kids. We were even prepared to constantly have caseworkers and therapists in our home and for the required hoop jumping for foster care and adoption. What we were completely unprepared for was the tantrums–the raging, the kicking, the hitting, the destruction, the 90 minutes of screaming. We didn’t know how to bounce back after one of these fits of rage. But, after two years in the trenches, our kids’ tantrums have taught us three valuable lessons: 1. Kids […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Family Support, Foster Parenting, Ways to ServeApr. 22, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Wrapping Around Foster and Adoptive Families

An environment where it’s understood that while we’re not all called to do the same thing, we’re all certainly capable of doing something. That’s the goal. Everyone. Doing. Something. If we’re not careful, we may unintentionally define caring for orphans and the vulnerable too narrowly – to simply mean foster care, adoption or some other form of bringing a child into your home long term. While these are of course crucial and essential places for the Church to engage, they represent only a few of the items on the buffet of limitless opportunities available for people to get involved. The […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingApr. 8, 2016

Forgotten Friday | When Trust Must Be Taught

Originally posted on Her View From Home I remember the wonder I felt when my son Joel was a tiny newborn and I realized just my presence could comfort him. He would cry. I would pick him up. He would stop crying. It seemed like a miracle to me. I hadn’t done anything special, hadn’t started singing a soothing lullaby or offered him a bottle, I had just picked him up and he was at peace. I felt just as startled when my son Teddy was a week old and was crying while I put him down for a minute […]

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Adoption, Advocacy, Aging Out Youth, Children in Foster Care, Education, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Ways to ServeApr. 1, 2016

Forgotten Friday | When Children are Broken and Fatherless: A Call to Defend Them

I remember the girl who said to me, “I wish I had a normal life…” Her words pierced me through. It was a legitimate wish. Her life wasn’t normal, and I could convince neither her nor myself that it was. Instead of a home, she lived in a facility. I’d seen her room—the one that she’d sarcastically referred to as her jail cell. And to be fair to her, it did look like one—composed of nothing but a small bed and four concrete walls. But this was no jail, in the literal sense, as you or I would think of it. This […]

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Adoption, Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Education, Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysMar. 28, 2016

Make a Difference Monday | To the Parents of My Struggling Son’s Classmates

To the parents of my struggling son’s classmates: By this point in the school year, I’m sure your child has shared an “interesting” story about something strange, inappropriate, or distracting my son did in class. Maybe you’re part of the PTA or a volunteer in our kids’ classroom–if so, you’ve probably witnessed some of these behaviors yourself. I understand that an outsider may see or hear about these things and assume that my son is defiant, hyperactive, out of control, or that we (as his parents) are not strict enough. I understand why you may encourage your child to play […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Education, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysFeb. 15, 2016

Make a Difference Monday | Understanding How Fear Impacts a Child

What do you do when you are afraid? Do you ball up your fists ready to fight? Or maybe you take off running as fast you can to get away from the danger. Perhaps you freeze not able to move a muscle or think rationally. What if you experienced chronic fear putting you on a constant state of alert? Would you be able to handle even the most basic tasks of life? How well would you relate to others? Could you even contemplate making plans for the future besides how you can survive? Often we identify bad behavior in a […]

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