Blog Archives

Category: Children in Foster Care

Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 16, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Let Us Stop the Talk and Do Something

I get so discouraged when I hear Christians bash others and talk about all the problems we face in the world, but don’t seem to really do much more than talk. I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but now I pray that He will guide me to do whatever I’m supposed to do. I used to pray for answers, but now I’m praying for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things. –Mother Teresa God has called my […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationJul. 13, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Not My Own

Your skin is darker, your eyes are bigger, You are not my own. Your hair is curlier, your smile brighter, You are not my own. Your laugh is sweeter, your cry is deeper, You are not my own. You are not my own today, nor not my own tomorrow. Forever you will be, not my own. This is where my heart is tonight: heavy, deep, numb. The thoughts of you are so present in my mind, the burden so heavy on my heart. Who am I to you? A mother? A babysitter? A temporary caretaker? Just a stranger? These questions […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 6, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Starting Over.

The idea of fostering again is daunting. For lots of reasons, but my heart keeps coming back to one. Starting over. After 18 months of growing love and building trust, our precious foster son moved across the country to live with a biological relative. Naturally, I miss him something terrible. I miss his impossibly silly faces and the way he always ran with his arms sticking out straight behind his back like Sonic the Hedgehog. I miss his endless Flash themes and how he said “fiddlefart” when something didn’t go his way. I knew the things he liked and the […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 29, 2018

Forgotten Friday | The Freedom to Be Flawed

Most nights, as my neck finds the curve of my contoured pillow, I close my eyes and breathe in the quiet that has finally found me. The stillness is almost surreal after a day of so much noise. It’s in the silence where moments of my day start to replay.  Some are filled with laughter and smiles and silly dance moves and childhood humor (read: any sentence with the word “fart” inserted. my kids will roll). But others are filled with conflict and failure, starring the less than desirable version of myself. Today, I yelled. I slammed a kitchen cabinet. I reacted instead […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 15, 2018

Forgotten Friday | 7 Things You Should Never Say to Foster or Adoptive Dads on Father’s Day

This coming Sunday is Father’s Day. While most of the comments we foster and adoptive dads receive are cordial, and respectful, there are always a handful that are not. Here’s a little insight into things you shouldn’t say to foster and adoptive dads on this special day (written, of course, for you to “share” with the people in your life who really don’t get it!) My brother-in-law’s heart probably drained from his chest like melted wax. Had his breath not been taken away by the off-handed comment, he would have found the words to speak, I’m sure. It was his […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 8, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Our Foster Story

My father is the reason that I started fostering, and it is his memory that makes me dig deep on the tough days and remember why we do this. My Dad was born the second child to a couple late in life. They already had a daughter, a golden child who could do no wrong. To make a very long story short, his parents never wanted him.  Not only that, but they made sure he knew it every single day. Growing up I heard bits and pieces of his story, never a lot at one time. It was obvious that he […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJun. 4, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Smells Like Progress

At the end of the day today, my hands smelled like both water balloons and poop. Ok, let me back up a bit. Foster parenting is like any other ministry. Sometimes you have good days. Sometimes you have bad days. Don’t get me wrong, the bad days are hard, but do you know what’s even harder than the bad days? The mixed ones. They’re the ones where you feel like you’ve been connecting and having fun and making progress together. You really think you’re getting your feet under you, and then out of nowhere, something takes you down like a […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysMay. 28, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | How to Encourage Without Undermining Their Story

After being surrounded by broken stories for so many years, it’s easy to become numb to the awful tragedies that have occurred. You start “getting used to” how hard it must be, and how hard kids must fight just to get through another day. I am ashamed at how much I’ve done that. It should, in fact, be the exact opposite. The more you get to know the faces of the children in foster care, the more you start to see how beautiful and unique they are. It’s true. While many stories are broken, ALL of them are special. None […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationApr. 20, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Gone.

Our precious Big D is gone. After living life together for seventeen months, gone. Most days it feels surreal. I wonder if he’s really gone. Or if he was ever really here. Knowing the truth, but feeling a variation of it. I feel like it can’t be true because I’m not yet devastated. And every other time I’ve said goodbye to a foster child, it’s been devastating. I miss Big D every day. I miss him asking if we could stop at the corner store on the way to school. I miss finding his grin and showing him mine when […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingApr. 13, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Suddenly, I Missed You

I was lifting weights today–yes, at the gym. Stick with me here. Pandora was blasting music into my eardrums as I danced along in my head. Music can take you places, and I need to be taken anywhere but the treadmill to be inspired. As the melody changed, the tunes transported me back to a mundane moment when you rested in the soft angle of my arms. In an instant, I could feel the heaviness of your infant frame. I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath…but the oxygen couldn’t strong-arm the entitled emotions. Suddenly, right there on […]

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