Blog Archives

Category: Children in Foster Care

Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 27, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Which Is Better? Obedience or Healing?

I observe my need for justice comes out in no better way than as a father. I expect my son to obey me because he is supposed to obey his father. Right Now. Seriously, I am surprised how angry I feel when he doesn’t immediately change his behavior and obey my every command. The scene usually goes down something like this…I tell my son, sometimes I ask, to do something or stop doing something else. If he complies within a few seconds, then all is right and good in the world. If he delays, complains, tries to negotiate, or any […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 23, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Don’t Waste the Wait

I’m a dreamer. I’m a doer. I can’t stand stagnation. I need my plate full, my to do list long and my next challenge in sight. I want to press on at full speed and I find myself in eager anticipation for the next adventure. And I HATE waiting. I’ve always been this way. Then God called me into foster care. cricket…cricket… First, I waited for God to move on my husband’s heart. That’s enough to kill a woman. Then we waited for weeks as we endured thirty hours of educational classes that qualified us to take the next step. […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 20, 2018

Forgotten Friday | I used to feel guilty for only requesting babies: Confession of a lightweight foster parent

Suicidal, difficult, troubled, hopeless, provocative, failure, harmful to others, dropout, no future, unattached… Yes, those descriptions bother me, too. Would you willingly throw yourself into a position to parent someone who exhibits one or all of those behaviors? Perhaps. Sweet, tender, tiny, newborn, life, giggly, cuddly, cute, dependent, beginning, hopeful future, attached… Now these words sound much more pleasant. Those precious little babies we all think about who delight others just by simply being alive. I want to foster these happy babies, the ones who have not gone through years of trauma, and I am not ashamed to say so. […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 16, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Let Us Stop the Talk and Do Something

I get so discouraged when I hear Christians bash others and talk about all the problems we face in the world, but don’t seem to really do much more than talk. I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but now I pray that He will guide me to do whatever I’m supposed to do. I used to pray for answers, but now I’m praying for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things. –Mother Teresa God has called my […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationJul. 13, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Not My Own

Your skin is darker, your eyes are bigger, You are not my own. Your hair is curlier, your smile brighter, You are not my own. Your laugh is sweeter, your cry is deeper, You are not my own. You are not my own today, nor not my own tomorrow. Forever you will be, not my own. This is where my heart is tonight: heavy, deep, numb. The thoughts of you are so present in my mind, the burden so heavy on my heart. Who am I to you? A mother? A babysitter? A temporary caretaker? Just a stranger? These questions […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 6, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Starting Over.

The idea of fostering again is daunting. For lots of reasons, but my heart keeps coming back to one. Starting over. After 18 months of growing love and building trust, our precious foster son moved across the country to live with a biological relative. Naturally, I miss him something terrible. I miss his impossibly silly faces and the way he always ran with his arms sticking out straight behind his back like Sonic the Hedgehog. I miss his endless Flash themes and how he said “fiddlefart” when something didn’t go his way. I knew the things he liked and the […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 29, 2018

Forgotten Friday | The Freedom to Be Flawed

Most nights, as my neck finds the curve of my contoured pillow, I close my eyes and breathe in the quiet that has finally found me. The stillness is almost surreal after a day of so much noise. It’s in the silence where moments of my day start to replay.  Some are filled with laughter and smiles and silly dance moves and childhood humor (read: any sentence with the word “fart” inserted. my kids will roll). But others are filled with conflict and failure, starring the less than desirable version of myself. Today, I yelled. I slammed a kitchen cabinet. I reacted instead […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 15, 2018

Forgotten Friday | 7 Things You Should Never Say to Foster or Adoptive Dads on Father’s Day

This coming Sunday is Father’s Day. While most of the comments we foster and adoptive dads receive are cordial, and respectful, there are always a handful that are not. Here’s a little insight into things you shouldn’t say to foster and adoptive dads on this special day (written, of course, for you to “share” with the people in your life who really don’t get it!) My brother-in-law’s heart probably drained from his chest like melted wax. Had his breath not been taken away by the off-handed comment, he would have found the words to speak, I’m sure. It was his […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 8, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Our Foster Story

My father is the reason that I started fostering, and it is his memory that makes me dig deep on the tough days and remember why we do this. My Dad was born the second child to a couple late in life. They already had a daughter, a golden child who could do no wrong. To make a very long story short, his parents never wanted him.  Not only that, but they made sure he knew it every single day. Growing up I heard bits and pieces of his story, never a lot at one time. It was obvious that he […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJun. 4, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Smells Like Progress

At the end of the day today, my hands smelled like both water balloons and poop. Ok, let me back up a bit. Foster parenting is like any other ministry. Sometimes you have good days. Sometimes you have bad days. Don’t get me wrong, the bad days are hard, but do you know what’s even harder than the bad days? The mixed ones. They’re the ones where you feel like you’ve been connecting and having fun and making progress together. You really think you’re getting your feet under you, and then out of nowhere, something takes you down like a […]

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