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Category: Children in Foster Care

Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJan. 27, 2017

Forgotten Friday | The Night My Son Finally Woke Me Up

photo credit: The Full Moon of Glen Ellyn via photopin (license) I was somewhere in between that deep sleep of the deprived and the alert sleep of the maternal. I lay there silently and I couldn’t remember the last time I had slept through the night. I heard it again. A quiet, faint “mom.” Over and over. Several times to the point that I sat up in bed. Just the fact that he’s calling me “mom” is a wonderment. For the longest of times, I was a stranger and then a familiar, safe person. I was a caretaker and then […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJan. 23, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | What is Foster Care Like?

Multiple times over the past two years, people have shyly asked “What is foster care like?” Mostly, the people asking were considering foster care themselves. And they needed to hear the good, the bad and the ugly before they jumped in any deeper. I understand how they felt. I wanted the same thing when we were praying through the enormous, life changing decision; someone on the inside to bare their soul and lay it all out there for consideration. It helps take the edge of the unknown. What is foster care like? Foster care is letting go of life as […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJan. 20, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Can I Ask You Something? (Part 1)

People usually have a lot of questions when my foster journey comes up. Here are the answers to some of the most frequently asked questions. 1. You’re not married, so how does that work? Well, since I don’t actually have to bear the child, that cuts down on a lot of front-end complication of becoming a single mom. When I accept a placement, the social worker will bring the kid(s) to my house (usually, it’s same-day delivery). But really, after the first bit, it pretty much works the same way as any single-working-parent situation. And as much as I love […]

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Children in Foster Care, Make a Difference MondaysJan. 15, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | The Role of Community in Discovering Identity

Over the years, we’ve been asked how our children feel about being a part of a multi-racial family, and how they’ve adjusted. Our conversation always points back to the importance of your community. When we became a multi-racial family, we considered the toll it might take on our children and on us. We weighed the scenarios as did our children’s birth parents. In the end, we partnered with our children’s birth parents in making the best decision we could. Our children needed a family, and we already deeply loved and cared for one another. We did not ignore the color […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJan. 13, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Their Hearts Matter

“Guard your heart,” they said. I almost bought into it too… …and I understand where they’re coming from. Protect my heart. It’s the only way. Love half-way so that my heart can’t break. If I don’t let myself love this guy with all the love in my heart, there is less of a chance that I’ll hurt in the end. I know they’re just worried about us, worried that our hearts will break. They love us, they don’t want to see us in pain. This little man who we have fallen so deep for… To think about him leaving… is […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJan. 9, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | The Weight of Saying “No”

Today, I am a foster mom who is overwhelmed; brought to tears and on my knees in prayer. I have spit-up on my sweater; I haven’t gotten a full night’s sleep in 7 months, and I’m holding a crying baby as I type. But these things aren’t the reason for my tears; they do not play a role in my broken heart. Why the sadness? Why the heavy heart when all in my life appears to be going so well? Because two weeks ago I said “no.” No to the phone call asking us if we’d like to adopt two […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationJan. 6, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Foster Kids Don’t Have Birthparents

Yesterday I was driving my six kids to a foster parent training class when one of my children said, “I want to see that Kung Fu Panda movie. The one where he finds his REAL dad.” I felt my stomach tighten and I locked eyes with my oldest child in the rearview mirror and I heard him mumble, “Oh boy” because he knew exactly what speech was coming and what questions the child who said “real dad” would have to answer. I know it’s just a movie and these are just pretend panda relationships, but in our family we have […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingDec. 30, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Pennies, Pennies Everywhere

We recently sat in the dark theatre watching Disney’s latest movie Frozen. At one point, my 4-year old foster son made his way to my side, frightened. Scene after scene I held him, sitting like that well past the point of scary snow monsters and ice-filled fury. And then there came a part in the movie where they start talking about true love—where they mention that it means loving another person and thinking and caring for them first. (Little things like that touch me deep these days. Most things do when your heart is being daily stretched and hammered and […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysDec. 26, 2016

Make A Difference Monday | No Two Foster Families Look the Same

What Could Your Family Look Like? The trouble with stereotypes is that they rarely are accurate. My idea of the stereotypical foster family was one who always had about six foster kids in their home. Their home arranged half warehouse, half dormitory style. And, of course they drove a van constantly full and on the go. Granted, many foster families DO look like that, and that’s great! I admire and respect these families, both the parents and biological children, who welcome foster kids into their home either for a few days or sometimes a few years at a time. However, sometimes this […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingDec. 23, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Pass It On

“Do you know why we give presents at Christmas?” I asked L., my foster child. “So everybody can see our stuff.” Sigh.  “Let’s try this again.” I think Christmas is one of the toughest and most wonderful times to be a parent. It’s tough because everything around your kid is screaming the selfish “more, me, gimme.” It’s wonderful because there are so many opportunities to talk about Jesus. Shopping with a 5-year-old child is tough. I generally avoid it whenever possible, jetting through the grocery store on my lunch break or picking up prescriptions right before I go to the […]

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