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Category: Children in Foster Care

Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 17, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Ladybug

It had been a series of challenging weeks. Those ones full of highly emotional dialogue with no resolution surrounding our family and the future of the children we call our own. The full effect of my compassion fatigue fully set in when I hung up the phone outside of the grocery store back restroom area where I was hiding on yet another important and unplanned call regarding potential upcoming plans for children in my care. A few hours later, my four-year-old daughter found a ladybug in the car on my seat. She was outraged that I had not seen “him” […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysAug. 13, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Why I Love Early Intervention

Are there other moms out there who have been blessed by Early Intervention? It’s been awesome for us. We’ve had three different “types” of therapists over the last three years — physical therapy (PT), speech therapy, and occupational therapy (OT). (Occupational therapy, according to kidshealth.org, helps kids with various needs improve their cognitive, physical, sensory, and motor skills and enhance their self-esteem and sense of accomplishment. I define this because I had to ask when someone suggested it.) In Pennsylvania, Early Intervention is a free service — yes, free — offered through the county that comes to your house — […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 10, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Everyone Has a Story: The Little Boy with No Name

My heart breaks every time I think about this little 8 year old boy who lives at the residential treatment center (RTC) in our community. The majority of the children living at the RTC are in (or have been in) foster care. Most of them have been in and out of up to 7 or 8 foster homes before coming to the RTC where they get 24 hour care in a therapeutic environment. Many of these kids have experienced trauma, abuse, and neglect in more extreme forms then those in traditional foster homes. Some have been in the RTC for […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 3, 2018

Forgotten Friday | How to Parent When Your Child Can’t Live at Home

It’s a trial many parents find themselves in when their child ends up in residential treatment or juvenile detention. How do you continue to be a parent when your child lives somewhere other than home? Twice a week, I visit my son. Twice a week, I sign myself out on a lined piece of paper. Twice a week, I retrieve my belongings from a locked box as a staff member walks me to the door. Twice a week, the door swings shut behind me and as I cross the parking lot. Twice a week, my eyes well up. Twice a […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 27, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Which Is Better? Obedience or Healing?

I observe my need for justice comes out in no better way than as a father. I expect my son to obey me because he is supposed to obey his father. Right Now. Seriously, I am surprised how angry I feel when he doesn’t immediately change his behavior and obey my every command. The scene usually goes down something like this…I tell my son, sometimes I ask, to do something or stop doing something else. If he complies within a few seconds, then all is right and good in the world. If he delays, complains, tries to negotiate, or any […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 23, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Don’t Waste the Wait

I’m a dreamer. I’m a doer. I can’t stand stagnation. I need my plate full, my to do list long and my next challenge in sight. I want to press on at full speed and I find myself in eager anticipation for the next adventure. And I HATE waiting. I’ve always been this way. Then God called me into foster care. cricket…cricket… First, I waited for God to move on my husband’s heart. That’s enough to kill a woman. Then we waited for weeks as we endured thirty hours of educational classes that qualified us to take the next step. […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 20, 2018

Forgotten Friday | I used to feel guilty for only requesting babies: Confession of a lightweight foster parent

Suicidal, difficult, troubled, hopeless, provocative, failure, harmful to others, dropout, no future, unattached… Yes, those descriptions bother me, too. Would you willingly throw yourself into a position to parent someone who exhibits one or all of those behaviors? Perhaps. Sweet, tender, tiny, newborn, life, giggly, cuddly, cute, dependent, beginning, hopeful future, attached… Now these words sound much more pleasant. Those precious little babies we all think about who delight others just by simply being alive. I want to foster these happy babies, the ones who have not gone through years of trauma, and I am not ashamed to say so. […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 16, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Let Us Stop the Talk and Do Something

I get so discouraged when I hear Christians bash others and talk about all the problems we face in the world, but don’t seem to really do much more than talk. I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but now I pray that He will guide me to do whatever I’m supposed to do. I used to pray for answers, but now I’m praying for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things. –Mother Teresa God has called my […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationJul. 13, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Not My Own

Your skin is darker, your eyes are bigger, You are not my own. Your hair is curlier, your smile brighter, You are not my own. Your laugh is sweeter, your cry is deeper, You are not my own. You are not my own today, nor not my own tomorrow. Forever you will be, not my own. This is where my heart is tonight: heavy, deep, numb. The thoughts of you are so present in my mind, the burden so heavy on my heart. Who am I to you? A mother? A babysitter? A temporary caretaker? Just a stranger? These questions […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 6, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Starting Over.

The idea of fostering again is daunting. For lots of reasons, but my heart keeps coming back to one. Starting over. After 18 months of growing love and building trust, our precious foster son moved across the country to live with a biological relative. Naturally, I miss him something terrible. I miss his impossibly silly faces and the way he always ran with his arms sticking out straight behind his back like Sonic the Hedgehog. I miss his endless Flash themes and how he said “fiddlefart” when something didn’t go his way. I knew the things he liked and the […]

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