Blog Archives

Category: Children in Foster Care

Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 11, 2017

Forgotten Friday | To his first mommy, on his second birthday

I’m still figuring these birthdays out… …on his sister’s birthday I am overwhelmed with memories and emotions of the day and the miracles that brought her to us ten weeks early. But today, his birthday, feels a little different. I wasn’t there. In fact, I didn’t know he was being born or existed in this world for another six days. I was clueless… It was a Sunday, and I was in Georgia sharing this adorable photo and celebrating my sister’s birthday with my family. The day before I was relishing in a Clemson win over South Carolina… …and the day […]

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Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysAug. 7, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | 6 Ways to Structure Your Life So You Have Time to Help a Child Heal from Trauma

You want to bring a child who needs a home into your family, but you know that your pace of life is too crazy to invest much time into that child. Unless the placement of the child into your home is an emergency kinship situation, I strongly suggest that you evaluate your lifestyle and restructure where you can. If you don’t know where to begin, here are six ideas: Remember Your Role When you decided to foster or adopt, you made a commitment to that child. Part of that commitment was to help your child heal from their past. Part […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 4, 2017

Forgotten Friday | 1 Corinthians 13 for the Foster Parent

If I speak with the wisdom of Keck and Kupecky, but do not have love, I become a nagging, droning horn in the distance. If I have the gift of Love and Logic, and know all mysteries and all knowledge of the effects of trauma on a young brain; and if I have all faith in the research and parenting techniques of Heather T. Forbes, Foster W. Cline and Karyn Purvis, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give up my lucrative job to become a parent to children in foster care, and if I surrender […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 31, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | Parenting Should-Haves: Mamas — Give Yourself Some Grace

“Mom, J was saying mean things about you and dad yesterday on the bus. He told people you say the F-word and that you don’t feed him for five days. He’s lying. He lied.” I can always count on my daughter to be honest. But, for the love, we were six blocks from the kids’ school, running late, and my coffee was cold. At that moment, I didn’t have the emotional capacity to process something so significant. Immediately, from the back seat, J piped up, “Someone ELSE said that about their parents. Not me.” I tried to remain calm while […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 28, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Best interest.

Often we debate what’s in the best interest of a child. Number of activities? Dinner routines? Discipline methods? But rarely do we debate who is in the best interest of the child. That agonizing question is saved for divorces and foster care. Here, a judge, a stranger to the child, somehow has to determine who should care for and raise her. And I can’t imagine the weight of that question. In foster care, the judge has to consider the biological parent, who despite his faults, is the one adult this child has known all her life long. The one adult […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 17, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | When You Understand Trauma, You Understand A Whole New World.

It took us a while to get there, but after years of parenting children from traumatic places, we finally had our eyes opened up. It became a game-changer for us, and our parenting. There are only 3 things I would go back in time and change if I had the power to do so. The first was field day in 6th grade. The event was cancelled due to rain and all students who decided not to come to school were excused. But I didn’t know this so I got on the bus anyways. Fail! The second was when I began my first […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 14, 2017

Forgotten Friday | A New Direction. Again. Some More.

After Nathan and I changed course to pursue domestic adoption, and then had the surprise visit from the Haitians, we settled into Christmas celebrations and anxiously waited for a phone call from our state agency to fill us in on next steps. We are not good waiters. Not like as in a restaurant. As in waiting. For stuff to happen. For people who have the information to tell us what our lives might look like in the future. So after a week, we called them. They reported that the next step was to take a mandatory training class which would […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Vulnerable ParentsJul. 3, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | Liberty — part one

The roads of the small town would’ve been saturated with plump pumpkins, hay bales, and corn husk figures on that day in late October 2010–intersections and front yards plastered with signs advertising Fall Festivals for chili-cook offs, costume contests, and children’s inflatables, as the crisp air wafted cotton candy and caramel apples. The woman was likely surrounded by her two young sons, their hearts bursting with excitement, as they awaited the birth of their infant sister. She probably labored in the conventional blue-dotted gown, her bottle-blonde hair perhaps pulled back loosely into a ponytail. Life is ironic. No coincidences or […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJun. 26, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | Imagining Life Without Our Foster Princess

Our foster princess sat in her bed last night and after we went through our nightly ritual of Bible reading and song singing, it was time to say our prayers. Without hesitation she asked God, like she has done every night for nearly 26 months, if she could stay with us forever. I would be lying if I told you that I didn’t silently say the same prayer at the same time. I can’t imagine my world without her in it. I can’t imagine not hearing her giggles. Watching her kick her butt with her feet when she runs. Listening […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Family Support, Foster ParentingJun. 23, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Water

Twelve and fourteen… that’s how many years it took these two beautiful kiddos to gain more life experience, faith and wisdom than this mama has gained in thirty three years. Five days…that’s how long it took them to turn my life and my heart upside down. No, not upside down…right side up! One month ago they sat, waited and wondered…half an hour from their home as water seeped through the doors and windows and filled its halls and rooms, taking most of their material belongings, drowning their homework, clothes, furniture, memories… “It’s a total loss…” Those are the words their […]

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