Blog Archives

Category: Children in Foster Care

Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysMay. 28, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | How to Encourage Without Undermining Their Story

After being surrounded by broken stories for so many years, it’s easy to become numb to the awful tragedies that have occurred. You start “getting used to” how hard it must be, and how hard kids must fight just to get through another day. I am ashamed at how much I’ve done that. It should, in fact, be the exact opposite. The more you get to know the faces of the children in foster care, the more you start to see how beautiful and unique they are. It’s true. While many stories are broken, ALL of them are special. None […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationApr. 20, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Gone.

Our precious Big D is gone. After living life together for seventeen months, gone. Most days it feels surreal. I wonder if he’s really gone. Or if he was ever really here. Knowing the truth, but feeling a variation of it. I feel like it can’t be true because I’m not yet devastated. And every other time I’ve said goodbye to a foster child, it’s been devastating. I miss Big D every day. I miss him asking if we could stop at the corner store on the way to school. I miss finding his grin and showing him mine when […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingApr. 13, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Suddenly, I Missed You

I was lifting weights today–yes, at the gym. Stick with me here. Pandora was blasting music into my eardrums as I danced along in my head. Music can take you places, and I need to be taken anywhere but the treadmill to be inspired. As the melody changed, the tunes transported me back to a mundane moment when you rested in the soft angle of my arms. In an instant, I could feel the heaviness of your infant frame. I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath…but the oxygen couldn’t strong-arm the entitled emotions. Suddenly, right there on […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Ways to ServeApr. 9, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | 5 Areas of Need in Foster Care and Adoption

Have you considered what need in foster care or adoption you can meet? Or are you like I was a few years ago? I really had no idea of what foster care really was. And my thoughts about adoption completely focused on me and my wish to have a child of my own. I naively thought that if I weren’t interested in fostering or adopting then it was of no concern to me. I had a shallow understanding of the needs of foster care and adoption. If you don’t intend on meeting a need of foster care and adoption, you […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingApr. 6, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Can You Ever Really Bond With An Older Child?

When it comes to adopting older children, there’s often a belief that, because they’ve been through so much, it’s impossible to form a healthy bond with them. We’ve discovered something different. In our 15 years of parenting we have had the honor of participating in the lives of 23 children. Most of them returned home or went on to be adopted by their forever families; eight of them have stayed forever. Before I became a parent of an older child, I didn’t think much about bonding and attachment. I am attached to my own parents, brothers and sisters. I have […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Make a Difference MondaysApr. 2, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Taking Care of Roots {a little lesson with my daughter}

My daughter came home from school this past week and said, “Mom, we played foster care at school today.” She then said, “I was the foster child and I had two moms.” I told her that sounded fun and interesting. We went on with the rest of the day and she didn’t mention it again. I thought about this conversation the remainder of the week. My daughter is very smart, willful and can be extremely challenging. She walks to the beat of her own drum and is fierce in so many ways. However, it seems that the older she gets, […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 30, 2018

Forgotten Friday | The Top 10 Non-Negotiables When Choosing Respite Care Providers

We’re big believers in utilizing respite care when you’re a foster or adoptive parent. But, there are a few musts when it comes to choosing the right person to care for your children. We had to travel down a dangerous dirt road to get to the person’s house. After that, there was an obstacle course to get from the driveway, through the yard, and to the front door. My son was hesitant. “Dad, I’m not staying here!” he proclaimed as we knocked on the front door. Once inside, the challenge to get to her front door seemed like a walk […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysMar. 26, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Because Jesus

I’m sitting in a hospital bed a few feet away from a baby that I’ll most likely never watch grow into a toddler. The hiss of oxygen, the alarming monitors and constant stream of visitors in yellow disposable gowns are our current reality. I’m exhausted and my legs hurt. The interrupted sleep is the only thing that reminds me of home. I’ve missed afternoon chats and homework with my big kids, five bedtimes with all of them, hugs and kisses and playtime. Last night, they came up to visit for some face to face time. We enjoyed a delicious hospital […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 23, 2018

Forgotten Friday | “What do they call you?”

This is a question I get quite often from people curious about what our foster children call us. This is a question I had for our caseworker when we started the whole process. What in the world do I call myself to them? I’m not their mommy and since the goal is to return them to their mom and dad, I didn’t want to confuse them. Jami was absolutely too informal. And confusing and crazy when you think of it in real life. “Oh kids Mommy AND Jami loves you.” No, that does not work very well. So, what do […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysMar. 19, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Taking A Closer Look at Connection: a TBRI Principle

God created us to connect. If that is true, then why are so many of us terrible at connecting? What many of us don’t realize is that a lot of our ability to connect with others is either enhanced or hindered in the first couple of years of our lives. The way a parent, especially a mother, interacts with her baby while in utero, the weeks following birth, and throughout the baby first months will often come naturally. I think every new parent feels ill-prepared and inadequate when they bring a newborn home. However, all you need to do is […]

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