Blog Archives

Category: Children in Foster Care

Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten FridaysApr. 7, 2017

Forgotten Friday | My Parenting May Seem Strict, But I Have A Few Good Reasons For It

The glares, stares, and judgmental glances. We’ve seen it all in our 15 years on the adoptive and foster care journey. Particularly as we’ve worked hard to parent children with major special needs. While we owe no one an explanation, we have some solid reasons for parenting our children the way we do. It’s a mild September afternoon in Central Indiana where we live. My family and I have spent the past hour watching my oldest son play football for his 7th grade team. Another game, another victory. This team is so good it’s scary. As the clock tics down […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Education, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 31, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Are You Afraid of Your Child’s Big Emotions?

The first few years of our marriage I didn’t attune well to my wife’s emotions—especially when she got excited about something. As an expressive person, she jumped, laughed, ran around, and screamed with excitement—all while I stood with a simple smile on my face and would say, “That’s great honey.” That response, or lack thereof, always threw a wet blanket on her excitement. I definitely wasn’t attuned to her emotions. Then we got a little guy who also has big emotions. Some of this is his personality, no doubt. But most kids from a hard place come to us with […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Journey Bags, Make a Difference MondaysMar. 27, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | The Journey of the Bag, the Boy, and Beyond

The baby boy was just under 4 weeks old when we picked him up from a doctor’s appointment and brought him home. It would be another day or two before a caseworker was assigned to the little guy. By the time the caseworker visited, we had already bought diapers, wipes, formula, a diaper bag, and other essentials. The baby’s birth parents had sent two tubs of clothes–enough to keep him clothed for quite a while. When the caseworker brought a backpack full of items for him, I was very appreciative. I also felt a little guilty; surely, there was some […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 24, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Secondary Trauma: How Your Child’s Special Needs May Be Affecting You

We know that children who have come from difficult places experience trauma, but what about you and I as parents? How do we handle the secondary trauma we experience as a result of the day in and day out battle of parenting them? “Listen, you’re blood pressure is just too high. You need to lose some weight, eat healthier and get some exercise. Getting out for a workout will lower your stress level too. I know you can find just a few minutes in your day. On your way out, stop by the front desk and schedule an appointment for […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 10, 2017

Forgotten Friday | 5 Deescalation Tips for Moms of Kids who Rage

The other night I got to speak to a group of potential foster parents who were just about to finish their training classes. They had really great questions about the realities of foster care and a realistic understanding that training classes are just not able to address all the potential scenarios you’ll run into as a foster parent. One woman asked a great question about how you deescalate kids who are really angry. Over our years working with kids from toddlers to teens we have found what works and what doesn’t when dealing with angry children. I want to share […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Reunification, Vulnerable ParentsMar. 3, 2017

Forgotten Friday | The Ache of a Mom Heart

Parenting is hard no matter how you approach it, but there are a lot of things that biological parents take for granted—like knowing your child’s full history. The state gives you all the information they have, but sometimes information is scarce, and you have to become your own private detective. You study your child for clues about their past. You look for trigger situations. You have to figure out if they have any allergies or major food aversions or favorite traditions. Sometimes you have to go hunting, too. Since so much of life is lived online these days, you actually […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Ways to ServeFeb. 24, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Stop Confusing Your Calling with His Commands

As I grew into adulthood, I often wondered, prayed about, wrestled with and sought counsel over my calling. I looked to the lives of so many valiant souls that crossed my unsettled path for direction and motivation. What was I going to do with my life? What was my calling? My calling? My calling? That word was so weighted and I felt trapped. I thought there was a right or wrong decision. The process of discerning my next steps–all of my steps–felt final. Then the what ifs followed. What if I chose the wrong calling? What if I wasn’t hearing […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysFeb. 20, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | A Daily Funeral

I have to listen to an audiobook or podcast while I do housework, or I’ll get distracted. Or sometimes I’ll just put on a soundtrack and sing every role of a Broadway show. (Don’t mind me, neighbors! I’m just in here defying some gravity while I load the washing machine!) On the afternoon of Easter Sunday in 2011, I was listening to audiobook about adoption. As various people shared their thoughts on the subject, one shared that she would struggle connecting the same way with an adopted child as she would with a biological child. I remember thinking to myself, […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Education, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Ways to ServeFeb. 17, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Why Will the Church Not Respond to the Call?

Take a look at this graphic from Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO). Please look carefully. The top number represents the number of children waiting in foster care in that state that can be adopted. The bottom number represents the number of churches in that state. What does it say to you? One way to please God is to care for orphans. God shares a few sure-fire ways to please him, and caring for orphans is one of them. And the way I read His Word where He talks about caring for orphans, it’s not a suggestion. He usually says it […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationFeb. 10, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Praying for the Case Plan: Reunification Is the Primary Goal

Family and friends– I get it. We prayerfully make the decision to bring another child into our home and by doing so we unintentionally indirectly ask more from you in our relationship. Without warning we ask you love and accept a child we do not tell you much about. We assume you are willing to do this just because you share life with us. We indirectly ask you to celebrate with our home when things are good. We ask you to support us when things are rough. And, we sometimes put you in a situation to grieve the loss of […]

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