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Category: Children in Foster Care

Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysOct. 9, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | Confidentiality and Identity in Foster Care (Part 2)

This is part two in a series discussing the importance of confidentiality in foster care. Read Part 1. We had a sitter once who asked about a friend’s newly adopted child, not by the child’s name or status as a son or daughter, but by the child’s ethnicity. In that very moment, I realized that I needed to be much more confidential about the reasons our foster child was in our care. Because the reasons he came into care did not define him then, and they don’t define him now. Those obstacles are not his identity, nor is the fact that […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten FridaysOct. 6, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Honesty and Redemption

“What do you want me to do with this? What am I supposed to do with this?” I cried to God as I sat on a bench outside my office. Just a couple hours earlier, I had spent my lunch break on that same bench praying and fasting. Every day in this ministry is hard. The weight is so heavy, I feel like I’m physically getting shorter some days, and I prefer to shrink alone. When I’m dealing with hard things, I tend to isolate myself because that just seems easier. I hide from friends. I hide from family. I […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysOct. 2, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | That Time I Was a Christmas Villain (Part 1)

This is part one in a series discussing the importance of confidentiality in foster care.  If you work in the medical field, or in social work, law, education, etc… you know this: Confidentiality matters. It matters for very obvious reasons and for SO many reasons beyond what is completely obvious. I’m writing about this topic from a foster parenting perspective… One that I didn’t always understand or hold for myself… at least not until I became a foster parent and loved not only the child in my home, but also his mom, his brother and sister, his grandparents, his great […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 25, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | Compassion fatigue.

​ A couple years ago, in the midst of ​fostering our firsts, I crashed. Parenting a sibling set of three suffering severe neglect and trauma, I felt like a toddler trying to run a marathon. I’d never buckled a kid in a booster seat, let alone refereed backseat pinching and screaming matches while driving. What I lacked in experience, I made up for in determination. I was all in. Until I was all gone. My love and care were met with pain and anger. Again and again. My home had become a warzone with ten-year-olds tantruming and five-year-olds swearing. At […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 22, 2017

Forgotten Friday | How Do You Get Through to a Child Who Doesn’t Think Logically?

We used to think that carrying a piece of drywall around with us so we could bang our head into it every time we had to re-explain something to our kid, or try to reason with him, was the ticket. And then, we discovered a better way to connect. A friend and I were recently talking about our kids when he said something I totally identified with: “Mike, he just doesn’t think. It’s like there’s no ability to think logically. I tell him to not do something and he does it anyway, even though he knows he’ll be in trouble!” […]

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Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 11, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | Fostering is a Family Affair: Thank You for Venturing with Us!

When Joel and I signed our contract to be foster parents through the state of Kentucky, we didn’t realize that we were also signing the names of all of our family members and close friends. Although they did not know it at the time, our decision to do foster care was their decision to do foster care. Though they initially sat before us a little wide-eyed at our decision to open our home for foster care, from the moment our little guy was placed into our arms they have given themselves wholeheartedly as papa, grandma, auntie, uncle, cousin and dear […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 8, 2017

Forgotten Friday | A Mess

Feeling sick all day, along with a rainy evening, meant one thing in my book: grits and eggs for supper. The family gone to church, I decided to cook some up just for me. I put the grits in the microwave (I know, they’re better on the stove…ain’t nobody got time for that) and moved on to beat the eggs. I thought to check the grits 27 seconds too late. They had bubbled over into a sticky, gritty mess. In my clean microwave. And if there is one thing I HATE to clean, it’s the microwave. . Argh. What a […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 4, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | 6 Things To Know About Foster-Adoption

My husband and I entered the world of foster-adopt with a narrow no frame of reference to prepare us. We only wanted to be parents. After infertility and a failed infant adoption, we thought foster-adopt would be the quickest path toward our desire. We knew foster care would be difficult, but we had no idea… no idea just how difficult it would be. There seems to be an overall lack of knowledge in the general public regarding foster care and foster-adopt. This can cause misunderstandings that may seem insignificant to those outside the world of foster-adopt, but to those living […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 1, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Serving the masses, seeing the one

Our swagger-wagon inched along…no, centimeter-ed along…in a long lineup of cars just one block away from the Disneyland main parking structure. It was 9:00 in the morning and this was only a glimpse of what was in store for us at our destination. Three boys sat in the back, crazy with anticipation for the exciting day ahead. Our foster agency designated this particular Saturday to treat its foster families to a day of family fun and bonding, helping to create lasting, precious memories for children and families impacted by trauma. Why were there SO many people today? After 45 minutes, […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 25, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Tension.

We often talk of finding the right balance. Eating a balanced diet. Achieving work-life balance. Frankly, I don’t believe in balance. It’s all tension. A teacher once explained how when two things are pulling you in different directions, that’s tension. Not balance. Life and foster care are riddled with tension. Treating my foster child to the chips he knows and loves OR encouraging him to enjoy a healthier palate. Showing him grace when he missteps OR teaching him about consequences. Helping him with his homework OR inviting his independence. The list goes on of course. With both sides having merit. […]

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