Blog Archives

Category: Encouragement

Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJan. 22, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Your Foster or Adopted Child Needs Space to Heal

Summertime with a son is so much different from when we didn’t have any kids. When it was just Danielle and I, summer wasn’t much different than any other time of the year. That is all different now that we have a six-year-old son. Danielle’s main summer job is thinking of ways to keep a very active boy busy. So we spend days at the swimming pool with friends, going out-of-state on a plane for the first time, vacation Bible schools, sports camps, visits to family and friends in other towns. Did I leave anything out? We easily could have […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingDec. 29, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Celebrating Sticky Things

To be a mom is to perfect the art of the repetition. “Hands are for helping, not hurting,” and “Are you asking or telling?” and “Listen and obey the first time,” and “We don’t announce our farts.” Sometimes you start to worry…will it ever sink in? Will it ever stick? But then they get it. And they start to do it for themselves. Those lessons that stick, they’re worth celebrating! Polite Words, Please When you’re constantly moving 90 miles an hour, sometimes it’s hard to remember to use your polite words. Word like please, thank you, and yes ma’am. A […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysDec. 11, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | 5 True Confessions from the Adoption Journey

Smack dab in the title of this blog is the word Confession. So, obviously we’re true to that by sharing honest and raw stories from this journey. But, we’ve also discovered a few other realities that I must confess here and now: I couldn’t have scripted this any better. As I stand and peer back over the last 18 years (Kristin and I will celebrate 18 years of marriage in 2 months), I’m amazed by our journey. No, scratch that…I’m BEYOND amazed. I’m overwhelmed. Is there another word for overwhelmed that’s more powerful? If so, send it to me, or […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingDec. 8, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Children Are Worth It

I just can’t even tell you how much I love these kids. There are not enough words in my somewhat limited vocabulary that express how rich, deep, authentic and pure my love is for them. They came into my life without expectations. I didn’t care what race or gender they were, or what their histories consisted of. No expectations, just hopeful anticipation. It took me a while (like twenty-five years since the age that barrenness interrupted my life) to hold a baby and feel that smothering, warm and wonderful feeling of motherhood. Sure, I was a foster mother. Sure, my […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysDec. 4, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | Even When

Our first foster arrived a few years ago on a Friday afternoon. Our license wasn’t even active yet and I was completely unsure of what to expect, ask and feel. We were re-fngerprinted at our kitchen table by a case worker we had never met so we could take baby girl as a non-relative placement. During this time, our precious girl and her sister sat in a running car in our driveway, supervised by a transporter-for almost an hour. Screwy, stressful start. We are almost two dozen kids into this wreckage and I still find myself frustrated, annoyed and disappointed […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingDec. 1, 2017

Forgotten Friday | A Day I Will Never Forget

“Jami, can I ask you a favor?” I knew the distraught voice on the other end of the line was our foster kids’ mom (who was very near her due date). “Can you drive me to the hospital? We don’t have any gas in our car.” She was having contractions every two minutes and she was in a lot of pain. I was still in my PJ’s and robe and was getting my coat on to run the girls to school (in my PJ’s and robe!), so I knew I couldn’t get there right away. I encouraged her to call […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysNov. 27, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | How to Safeguard Your Marriage While Raising Children with Special Needs

Often, when you’re in the trenches of parenting children with major special needs, the most important relationship you have begins to suffer. How do you keep your marriage healthy in the midst of very difficult circumstances with your children? I met my husband 20 years ago this winter. I saw him across the lobby of the student center at our college campus. I hoped he would notice me and when he did I shook his hand and smiled the warmest smile I could muster on that cold January evening. He asked me out a few weeks later and I was […]

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Education, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 24, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Uncomfortable conversations.

I find that most people don’t know much about foster care. But then again. Neither did I. Three years ago, I was just as likely as anyone else to ask the wrong question or not ask the right one. I didn’t know about the importance of attachment or what FST stood for or how the system worked. Today I may still wonder whether the system works, but I get the nuts and bolts of what’s going on. But a lot of people don’t. And so a lot of people ask questions about how long our foster son will be with […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Ways to ServeNov. 6, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | 5 Ways to Really Bless the Heart of Someone Who’s Struggling

I distinctly recall the first time someone “blessed my heart”. You know the type: the staged whisper (southern accent optional), big smile and—this is key—behind your back. I was standing in the world’s longest post office line and I had stupidly forgotten to go to the bathroom before I decided to run this brilliant errand. I had all three of my boys with me (cue warning sirens) and I was holding a huge box for a friend that I was shipping internationally, complete with 4,124 forms filled out in triplicate. There I was, shifting from one foot to another, and […]

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Education, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingOct. 20, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Speaking back to the stereotypes of foster parents

I came across this video on the interwebs made by What Would You Do?, one of those hidden camera shows that stages scenarios in order to see what kind of reaction they receive from onlookers. This particular staged situation portrays foster parents as greedy people only in foster care for the money who treat their foster kids as second-class children. The video is a little over eight minutes long, but it took me about 20 minutes to watch; I had to walk away a few times because it made me so mad. Here are three reasons why I take issue […]

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