Blog Archives

Category: Encouragement

Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingOct. 19, 2018

Forgotten Friday | How Foster Care Is Changing Me

I’m an expert on change. Not because I ever wanted to be, but simply because it’s what I know. It’s my close counterpart and my experience qualifies my expertise in this area. When I started this season, I believed I was doing a good thing. I was being obedient to the call on my life to simply say yes to the unknown. The future felt bright and full of hope. I was the hero. I was the one doing the rescuing; the first responder bringing relief and recovery to those trapped on the road to nowhere. Then Jesus wrecked me. […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingOct. 12, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Hast Thou Not Seen?

I’m trying to sulk about my foster care frustrations today. It was such a perfect day for it. Cold, pouring rain. The day after both a holiday weekend AND my son’s birthday when the let-down of all the celebration drops you into the gutter. The good news is that good friends don’t let you sulk. They are understanding of the challenges in my life, but don’t let me wallow. Much encouragement, more prayer–that’s what I get. And that’s what I need! Also, I turned on Pandora and Fernando Ortega started singing Praise to the Lord the Almighty: Praise to the […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 28, 2018

Forgotten Friday | When Hope Hides

I’m here again. In a season of shadows and darkness. The light flickers in the distance but it’s dim. I find myself blinking and staring again to make sure it’s really there. Loneliness stands to my left. Fear to my right. And when I look at my reflection, I see failure. I can’t make myself attach to this kid. I want to…I think. But the wall rises around my heart. Protection from pain forces me to come face to face with my reality. This foster care thing isn’t natural. It’s not the way it was supposed to be. I want […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 21, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Circling Jericho

Today is my son’s 999th day in foster care. You might think I’m kidding, but I have an online calendar running. 1,000 days tomorrow since we became his “resource parents,” as the state says. I was eight days behind on my kids’ advent calendar (A Jesse Tree handmade by a dear friend of mine that traces the lineage of Christ), so this morning was the story of Joshua. I’m sitting at my kitchen table, stressing about testifying in court…all the while, reading and telling my kids about how the Israelites were in the same situation! (Ok, not the same, but keep […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 17, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Everyone Has a Story: Heartbreak and Hope, Part 2

(To read part one, click here) “She changed her mind.” I couldn’t believe it. I knew that this was so very common in domestic adoptions and yet, in this case, baby boy would immediately be put into the foster care system, and his mom did not want this. She had shared this with me before, yet she changed her mind. And her decision was final. I looked over at my friends who were standing outside the nursery. With so many emotions in my heart and tears in my eyes, I slowly walked to them and told them that it seemed like […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 10, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Sometimes I forget she isn’t really mine

My heart broke a little yesterday morning while sitting at my kitchen table during our county social worker’s monthly visit. Our agency’s case manager also met with us at the same time. She mentioned the likelihood of reunification and I nodded as usual, contributing to the conversation how the birth parent visits were going. The next court date won’t be for another few months, but it suddenly hit me that our sweet baby girl, with whom we all have quite fallen in love, might be leaving us sooner than later. Waking up to her morning giggles and putting her down, […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 30, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | That Donkey Will Bite You

Kids don’t listen the first time. At least, not mine. I mean, they come the first time you say, “Want a snack?” but they certainly don’t hear you say, “Don’t hit your brother” and file that in the permanent log. That’s the thing you repeat a thousand times. We were at a petting zoo recently with my family. The kids were feeding this sweet old donkey (through a fence) — kernels of corn right out of their hands. Excitement! But then the corn ran out. A youthful member of our party put his hand back through the fence. I cautioned […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 23, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Don’t Waste the Wait

I’m a dreamer. I’m a doer. I can’t stand stagnation. I need my plate full, my to do list long and my next challenge in sight. I want to press on at full speed and I find myself in eager anticipation for the next adventure. And I HATE waiting. I’ve always been this way. Then God called me into foster care. cricket…cricket… First, I waited for God to move on my husband’s heart. That’s enough to kill a woman. Then we waited for weeks as we endured thirty hours of educational classes that qualified us to take the next step. […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, ReunificationJul. 9, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | How to Support Reunification, Even if You Don’t Want to

If you are a foster parent, you know the word “reunification” comes up a lot. As it now stands, there is a federal law that mandates courts and child welfare agencies to work towards reunification with a biological parent upon children entering care. The law gives fifteen out of twenty-two months for efforts to rectify the reason that children entered care and to assure safety once placed back in the home. People often say, “I could never foster because I could not give the children back.” This is a reasonable response, but it is possible to support the reunification process […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 29, 2018

Forgotten Friday | The Freedom to Be Flawed

Most nights, as my neck finds the curve of my contoured pillow, I close my eyes and breathe in the quiet that has finally found me. The stillness is almost surreal after a day of so much noise. It’s in the silence where moments of my day start to replay.  Some are filled with laughter and smiles and silly dance moves and childhood humor (read: any sentence with the word “fart” inserted. my kids will roll). But others are filled with conflict and failure, starring the less than desirable version of myself. Today, I yelled. I slammed a kitchen cabinet. I reacted instead […]

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