Blog Archives

Category: Encouragement

Adoption, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysDec. 3, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | 5 Insightful Suggestions to Help You Father Well

I recently began a podcast series entitled Dad to Dad. In these interviews I sit down with another adoptive dad and talk about what it is like to be an adoptive dad—our shortcomings, funny stories, and what we find that helps us to father well. Recently I interviewed Marshall Lyles (if you missed it, you can get it HERE), and I asked Marshall this question—What helps you to father well? Marshall shared four very insightful ideas that help him, and I add one more. Even though Marshall and I talk about being adoptive dads, these suggestions are helpful for every […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysNov. 26, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | 8 Common Myths About Foster Care Dispelled

For years, foster care has been misunderstood, unfairly judged, criticized through local media and television shows, and the subject of harsh headlines. It’s time to set the record straight… We spent 9 years in the foster care system, as care-givers to more than 23 children. Six of those children never left our care and became a permanent part of our family from 2008 until 2012. Our years in the system were trying but also filled with lots of beautiful moments. Thankfully we made it a point to live with as much peace as possible. As a result, we still have […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 23, 2018

Forgotten Friday | A Hasty Decision and the Next Big Thing

October 2015. 10:20 p.m. The baby monitor lights up as I’m finally crawling into bed next to my husband. I try to ignore its red flashes. I only put her down an hour ago. How is this happening already? I try telling myself that she’s just having a bad dream, that she’ll calm herself down and go back to sleep. I know she won’t. Her sleep is becoming more fitful each evening. As her cries continue, I carry my pillow and blanket down the hall and camp out beside her crib for what feels like the hundredth night in a […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 16, 2018

Forgotten Friday | From Orphan to Co-Heir

There is a type of adoption, a compassionate offering, where a mom chooses something different for her child. She places her baby in the loving care of another family, wrapped in a prayer of hope for the future. I have witnessed this up close, in the life of a dear friend, and there are few things more selfless and beautiful. Sometimes the brokenness of divorce leads to adoption. A blending of families creates the opportunity for step-parents to love and raise children as their “own.” I have experienced this and am very thankful for those relationships. Out of God’s great […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysOct. 29, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Will My Husband Ever Be on the Same Page as Me with Adoption?

It’s not always the case, but often, men can be the toughest nut to crack when it comes to the adoption journey. I know from personal experience. There are a few reasons why this happens, and some key steps you can take to eventually arrive at the same place with him on this journey. Back in the day, before we got married, I said no to just about everything. In fact, if shaking my head was an Olympic sport, I would have taken the gold. I was such a difficult person to get along with in those days. One of […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingOct. 19, 2018

Forgotten Friday | How Foster Care Is Changing Me

I’m an expert on change. Not because I ever wanted to be, but simply because it’s what I know. It’s my close counterpart and my experience qualifies my expertise in this area. When I started this season, I believed I was doing a good thing. I was being obedient to the call on my life to simply say yes to the unknown. The future felt bright and full of hope. I was the hero. I was the one doing the rescuing; the first responder bringing relief and recovery to those trapped on the road to nowhere. Then Jesus wrecked me. […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingOct. 12, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Hast Thou Not Seen?

I’m trying to sulk about my foster care frustrations today. It was such a perfect day for it. Cold, pouring rain. The day after both a holiday weekend AND my son’s birthday when the let-down of all the celebration drops you into the gutter. The good news is that good friends don’t let you sulk. They are understanding of the challenges in my life, but don’t let me wallow. Much encouragement, more prayer–that’s what I get. And that’s what I need! Also, I turned on Pandora and Fernando Ortega started singing Praise to the Lord the Almighty: Praise to the […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 28, 2018

Forgotten Friday | When Hope Hides

I’m here again. In a season of shadows and darkness. The light flickers in the distance but it’s dim. I find myself blinking and staring again to make sure it’s really there. Loneliness stands to my left. Fear to my right. And when I look at my reflection, I see failure. I can’t make myself attach to this kid. I want to…I think. But the wall rises around my heart. Protection from pain forces me to come face to face with my reality. This foster care thing isn’t natural. It’s not the way it was supposed to be. I want […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 21, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Circling Jericho

Today is my son’s 999th day in foster care. You might think I’m kidding, but I have an online calendar running. 1,000 days tomorrow since we became his “resource parents,” as the state says. I was eight days behind on my kids’ advent calendar (A Jesse Tree handmade by a dear friend of mine that traces the lineage of Christ), so this morning was the story of Joshua. I’m sitting at my kitchen table, stressing about testifying in court…all the while, reading and telling my kids about how the Israelites were in the same situation! (Ok, not the same, but keep […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 17, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Everyone Has a Story: Heartbreak and Hope, Part 2

(To read part one, click here) “She changed her mind.” I couldn’t believe it. I knew that this was so very common in domestic adoptions and yet, in this case, baby boy would immediately be put into the foster care system, and his mom did not want this. She had shared this with me before, yet she changed her mind. And her decision was final. I looked over at my friends who were standing outside the nursery. With so many emotions in my heart and tears in my eyes, I slowly walked to them and told them that it seemed like […]

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