Blog Archives

Category: Encouragement

Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten FridaysOct. 6, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Honesty and Redemption

“What do you want me to do with this? What am I supposed to do with this?” I cried to God as I sat on a bench outside my office. Just a couple hours earlier, I had spent my lunch break on that same bench praying and fasting. Every day in this ministry is hard. The weight is so heavy, I feel like I’m physically getting shorter some days, and I prefer to shrink alone. When I’m dealing with hard things, I tend to isolate myself because that just seems easier. I hide from friends. I hide from family. I […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 25, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | Compassion fatigue.

​ A couple years ago, in the midst of ​fostering our firsts, I crashed. Parenting a sibling set of three suffering severe neglect and trauma, I felt like a toddler trying to run a marathon. I’d never buckled a kid in a booster seat, let alone refereed backseat pinching and screaming matches while driving. What I lacked in experience, I made up for in determination. I was all in. Until I was all gone. My love and care were met with pain and anger. Again and again. My home had become a warzone with ten-year-olds tantruming and five-year-olds swearing. At […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 22, 2017

Forgotten Friday | How Do You Get Through to a Child Who Doesn’t Think Logically?

We used to think that carrying a piece of drywall around with us so we could bang our head into it every time we had to re-explain something to our kid, or try to reason with him, was the ticket. And then, we discovered a better way to connect. A friend and I were recently talking about our kids when he said something I totally identified with: “Mike, he just doesn’t think. It’s like there’s no ability to think logically. I tell him to not do something and he does it anyway, even though he knows he’ll be in trouble!” […]

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Encouragement, Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysAug. 28, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | What About Anger Toward My Child’s Birth Parent?

We talk often about forming positive relationships with birth families. But what do you do when you can’t get past the anger you feel toward them? If you know us, you know we are strong advocates for open adoption. We often write and speak in favor of open relationships with a child’s birth family. In our own family we have regular contact with biological parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and even brothers and sisters. We feel that if it is possible and safe to have an open relationship with a child’s birth family, you should. Often when we talk about respecting […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 18, 2017

Forgotten Friday | The Agony of Attaching to Foster Kids

Three weeks after I gave birth to my first child, I sat sobbing in a glider. I was sitting in a nursery where everything was new–cute crib, tiny clothes, fresh baby, new life. And with all of the unfamiliar came a surge of scary emotions. She had been screaming for what seemed like hours and my comfort measures weren’t working. After nursing, hushing, bouncing, walking and changing diapers for this little life, my weary arms still held a screaming baby. I suddenly wanted to throw her out of our second-story window or shake her to stop. I was worn out and I didn’t […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 4, 2017

Forgotten Friday | 1 Corinthians 13 for the Foster Parent

If I speak with the wisdom of Keck and Kupecky, but do not have love, I become a nagging, droning horn in the distance. If I have the gift of Love and Logic, and know all mysteries and all knowledge of the effects of trauma on a young brain; and if I have all faith in the research and parenting techniques of Heather T. Forbes, Foster W. Cline and Karyn Purvis, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give up my lucrative job to become a parent to children in foster care, and if I surrender […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 24, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | If Foster Care is Hard, You’re Probably Doing it Right

I remember the moment. The four of us were all sitting on the kitchen counters eating cereal at ten p.m. (or it might have been ice-cream. . . we were young and stressed) debriefing about the events of the day. We were all recent college graduates in our early twenties who were responsible for the day-in and day-out love and nurture of 7 boys, mostly teens and preteens. Boys who had come from trauma. Boys who couldn’t safely live with their parents. Boys who brought their unhealthy coping skills and beautiful smiles into this house designed to be their home […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 21, 2017

Forgotten Friday | 9 Tips for Successfully Navigating the Child Welfare System as a Foster Parent

The foster care system is complicated. But there ARE things that foster parents can do to more effectively navigate it. If there is one thing most people involved with child welfare can say about the foster care system (US), it is this: The system is complicated. But there ARE things that foster parents can do to more effectively navigate it. Here are just a few: 1) Don’t buy into the myths. There are many negative opinions about foster parents, case managers, attorneys, biological parents, and the system as a whole. Unfortunately, some of these opinions have turned into myths about […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 17, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | When You Understand Trauma, You Understand A Whole New World.

It took us a while to get there, but after years of parenting children from traumatic places, we finally had our eyes opened up. It became a game-changer for us, and our parenting. There are only 3 things I would go back in time and change if I had the power to do so. The first was field day in 6th grade. The event was cancelled due to rain and all students who decided not to come to school were excused. But I didn’t know this so I got on the bus anyways. Fail! The second was when I began my first […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 10, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | True Confessions of a Foster Mama

I’m drinking my daily cup of coffee…finally. Ahhhhh, the therapeutic effects of a warm cup of joe resting in my palm. Feels so good. I had to reheat it in the microwave, gasp, because now its almost bedtime. I would have sipped it down this morning but my body refused to move to the rhythm of my alarm dinging and vibrating my comfy bed. I was up every 2-3 hours holding another mama’s baby. My husband and I are supposed to work in shifts through the darkness of the night. But since I heard the cries as he snored puffed […]

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