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Category: Forgotten Fridays

Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationJul. 13, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Not My Own

Your skin is darker, your eyes are bigger, You are not my own. Your hair is curlier, your smile brighter, You are not my own. Your laugh is sweeter, your cry is deeper, You are not my own. You are not my own today, nor not my own tomorrow. Forever you will be, not my own. This is where my heart is tonight: heavy, deep, numb. The thoughts of you are so present in my mind, the burden so heavy on my heart. Who am I to you? A mother? A babysitter? A temporary caretaker? Just a stranger? These questions […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 6, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Starting Over.

The idea of fostering again is daunting. For lots of reasons, but my heart keeps coming back to one. Starting over. After 18 months of growing love and building trust, our precious foster son moved across the country to live with a biological relative. Naturally, I miss him something terrible. I miss his impossibly silly faces and the way he always ran with his arms sticking out straight behind his back like Sonic the Hedgehog. I miss his endless Flash themes and how he said “fiddlefart” when something didn’t go his way. I knew the things he liked and the […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 29, 2018

Forgotten Friday | The Freedom to Be Flawed

Most nights, as my neck finds the curve of my contoured pillow, I close my eyes and breathe in the quiet that has finally found me. The stillness is almost surreal after a day of so much noise. It’s in the silence where moments of my day start to replay.  Some are filled with laughter and smiles and silly dance moves and childhood humor (read: any sentence with the word “fart” inserted. my kids will roll). But others are filled with conflict and failure, starring the less than desirable version of myself. Today, I yelled. I slammed a kitchen cabinet. I reacted instead […]

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Advocacy, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 22, 2018

Forgotten Friday | When Doing Good Isn’t Good

A few years ago, my husband Clint and I were given the amazing privilege of a week-long vacation in Fiji through Clint’s work. While there, we had a very special opportunity to bring some school supplies to children at a local school in need. The children came to our resort to receive the gifts, riding in on a train and singing, no less! Many in our group were eating breakfast as the train pulled in. Those sweet kiddos piled out of the train so that we could take some pics. Then two children came to shake hands with the President […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 15, 2018

Forgotten Friday | 7 Things You Should Never Say to Foster or Adoptive Dads on Father’s Day

This coming Sunday is Father’s Day. While most of the comments we foster and adoptive dads receive are cordial, and respectful, there are always a handful that are not. Here’s a little insight into things you shouldn’t say to foster and adoptive dads on this special day (written, of course, for you to “share” with the people in your life who really don’t get it!) My brother-in-law’s heart probably drained from his chest like melted wax. Had his breath not been taken away by the off-handed comment, he would have found the words to speak, I’m sure. It was his […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 8, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Our Foster Story

My father is the reason that I started fostering, and it is his memory that makes me dig deep on the tough days and remember why we do this. My Dad was born the second child to a couple late in life. They already had a daughter, a golden child who could do no wrong. To make a very long story short, his parents never wanted him.  Not only that, but they made sure he knew it every single day. Growing up I heard bits and pieces of his story, never a lot at one time. It was obvious that he […]

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Adoption, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 1, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Making a Lifetime Commitment to Your Adopted Child

Too many children have lost their “forever family” when they were placed back into the system by their adoptive family. During my years working as a frontline case manager for children in state custody, I was appalled at the numbers of kids on my caseload, and fellow staff members’ caseloads, who had been adopted years prior and then were placed back into the system by their adoptive family. This is an unfortunate, almost unbelievable reality for too many children who were promised their “forever” home and had to learn the hard way that forever does not always mean what it […]

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Education, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMay. 25, 2018

Forgotten Friday | 4 Ways to Partner with Your Child’s School over Summer Break

Believe it or not, summer is the perfect time to start planning for a new school year. A few weeks ago we shared a podcast episode entitled How To Form Healthy Partnerships With Your Child’s School. As a follow up, we wanted to share additional steps you can take now, to form a solid connection with your child’s school before the new school year begins. It’s almost summer here in Indiana! My kids are planning trips to the pool, playdates and sleepovers. I’m tempted to get caught up in all the summer fun daydreams. But before I can break out […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Ways to ServeMay. 18, 2018

Forgotten Friday | If You Can’t Foster or Adopt 10 Kids, Stand Up for at Least One

Let’s admit it. A stereotype exists for foster families. When I say foster, most picture the family that drives a large van or nowadays something like a Sprinter, has boxes of diapers and clothes stacked around their house, and the parents always have that “stressed but I am happy” look. Then we say, “I am glad they are able to do that because I couldn’t.” After we excuse ourselves from fostering or adopting children, we don’t think about it until it confronts us again. I am one of those persons that said that I could never be that kind of […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMay. 11, 2018

Forgotten Friday | A Foster Mom’s Mother’s Day

I have six children. That’s what I tell people most days. But that number’s never solid. It can change before I finish sipping my satisfying cup of morning sanity. One phone call from licensing and I suddenly become the temporary mama of a few more. In the same call, I could find out I am losing a kid, dropping my digits once more in this restless ride of foster care. The moments in my motherhood are complicated and I find myself calculating my responses to strangers before they utter their hello. How many kids do you have? My face is […]

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