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Category: Forgotten Fridays

Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 21, 2017

Forgotten Friday | 9 Tips for Successfully Navigating the Child Welfare System as a Foster Parent

The foster care system is complicated. But there ARE things that foster parents can do to more effectively navigate it. If there is one thing most people involved with child welfare can say about the foster care system (US), it is this: The system is complicated. But there ARE things that foster parents can do to more effectively navigate it. Here are just a few: 1) Don’t buy into the myths. There are many negative opinions about foster parents, case managers, attorneys, biological parents, and the system as a whole. Unfortunately, some of these opinions have turned into myths about […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 14, 2017

Forgotten Friday | A New Direction. Again. Some More.

After Nathan and I changed course to pursue domestic adoption, and then had the surprise visit from the Haitians, we settled into Christmas celebrations and anxiously waited for a phone call from our state agency to fill us in on next steps. We are not good waiters. Not like as in a restaurant. As in waiting. For stuff to happen. For people who have the information to tell us what our lives might look like in the future. So after a week, we called them. They reported that the next step was to take a mandatory training class which would […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 7, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Painting a Portrait of Our Foster Family

I’ve spent a good bit of time browsing stock photography sites in my career, and to be honest, 90 percent of stock photography is ridiculous. My current favorite stock photo is titled “Woman Riding Rhinoceros in Rural Field.” It’s everything you’re imagining and more. When you search “family” or “parenting” on a stock site, you get all these stereotypical, idyllic images of a mom, a dad and a couple kids at the table laughing and eating a healthy salad. But there’s nothing stereotypical about my family made up of my foster son, L., and me. I’m like, “Where’s the picture […]

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Advocacy, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 30, 2017

Forgotten Friday | The American Mission Field

We spent some time last week with a few missionaries. They were at church as part of an annual celebration of support and awareness for worldwide missions. We met in small groups for a picnic and some shared personal stories from their ministries. A question was posed to one of the missionaries, “What is your greatest need right now?” The answer didn’t amaze me, it actually affirmed my suspicions–native workers. This guy was from a foreign country and his greatest need was for his own people to become aware of and respond to the needs in their very community. That’s […]

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Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 16, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Don’t Ever Forget That {words for parents of special needs kids}

Oh, boy. There is nothing like being at a busy and popular outdoors store (aka: the “big” Bass Pro Shop) and dealing with a very defiant, loud, and just plain out-of-control four-year-old. Wowza. Directives were given. Choices were offered. Still yet, the force was quite strong with this one, today. Because I am the parent and he is the child, I gave him one last warning, “If you do not hold my hand and stay with me, you and I will have to go to the van.” And, boom. He’s off. Throwing a major, cataclysmic style of meltdown for all […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 9, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Thank You

L. talks a lot about the people he misses from his past. There’s nothing I can do about most of them. But a couple months ago, he mentioned how much he liked and missed the police officers who took him into care in August of last year. I could do something about that. It took some digging, but I found them. They were so gracious, accommodating, and kind as I asked if L. might come and visit. They invited us to their Christmas party where the officers and staff showered L. with love and attention (and gifts). It was an […]

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Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsJun. 2, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Bio mom.

We all come to the table with ideas, assumptions and prejudices. Whether we like it or not. When I met my foster son’s biological mother nine months ago, I stood back. Stayed back intentionally. Fears and questions filled my head and my heart. Allowing polite civility but not warm friendship. I was cautious. ​Time changes things though. And time has changed me and changed our relationship. Now, we go in for a hug after she has a visit with Big D. I don’t block my number on days we call her to check in. And when she asks me to […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMay. 26, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Taking A Closer Look at Empowerment–A TBRI Principle

Do you get the idea that it’s good to empower your child, but struggle with exactly how to do it? How do you find that balance of empowering yet remaining in control? Trust-Based Relational Intervention, or TBRI, is becoming the standard for connected parenting. Schools, Child Protective Services, counselors, parents, and others recognize this and are applying these principles in their work and families. I posted a blog a couple of years ago, “Three Principles of Trust-Based Relational Intervention,” that still gets a lot of traffic. Basically, the three principles are Empowerment, Connection, and Correction. If you want a quick […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMay. 19, 2017

Forgotten Friday | My Daughter Has Her Birth Mother’s Eyes.

Yesterday we took our daughter to meet her birth mother for the first time in her (almost) 15 years of life. We were all nervous, anxious, and excited. But I had no idea I would be moved to tears. The wind was whipping down the corridors of buildings along 16th street in downtown Indianapolis. Although the sun was shining bright, it was cold. A typical late December day in Indiana. I eased the car into a spot across the street from the vintage coffee shop we were meeting in, turned the ignition off, and turned to look at my daughter […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMay. 12, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Beauty from Ashes

I never thought I would make it to a Mother’s Day that my heart didn’t ache for my momma. Honestly, I thought it would always be a bittersweet reminder…a day to praise God for what I had but at the same time a day to mourn what was taken. This year is different for me. I had hope that one day I would understand, but I thought it might be 10,000 years from now. Instead, it’s today. This year is the year I KNOW that God is always good, always sovereign. He sometimes allows terrible things to happen, because He […]

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