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Category: Forgotten Fridays

Adoption, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 16, 2018

Forgotten Friday | From Orphan to Co-Heir

There is a type of adoption, a compassionate offering, where a mom chooses something different for her child. She places her baby in the loving care of another family, wrapped in a prayer of hope for the future. I have witnessed this up close, in the life of a dear friend, and there are few things more selfless and beautiful. Sometimes the brokenness of divorce leads to adoption. A blending of families creates the opportunity for step-parents to love and raise children as their “own.” I have experienced this and am very thankful for those relationships. Out of God’s great […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 9, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Congrats.

A beautiful sixteen-year-old walked into our lives and home on Monday night. Like every other child who has been placed with us, she didn’t want to move. But here she is. Here we all are. Trying to figure out life together as strangers under one roof. As needed, we let friends and colleagues know we have a new foster child. After hearing our update, a neighbor shot me a friendly “Congrats!” and looked to me for a response. Crickets. I. Couldn’t. Say. Anything. I know she meant well, but I also know foster care and the pain and sadness that […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 2, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Behind Closed Doors

Have you ever held a broken child in your arms as they cried out for their mommy, hoping, wishing, praying you could do anything to take the pain away? Have you ever tried brushing the teeth of a 2-year- old who screamed in pain because every tooth was decayed due to the neglect they faced at the very hands of their own parents? Have you ever had to sit down two children, both under the age of 5, and explain to them how their mommy is in jail and you have no idea when she’ll be out? Each and every […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsOct. 26, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Walking Through Adoption Loss

While driving to Red Robin on a date with my 9-year-old, I could tell he wasn’t his jolly self. I couldn’t quite read his expression and for fear of driving off the road while trying, I determined to wait until we stopped. It was then that I could get a good look into his eyes. “What’s wrong, buddy?” I asked. You see, we had been discussing adoption and his birth parents a little bit before. He looked away, leaned into the side of the car and the tears spilled out. Adoption starts with loss. This child came to us as […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingOct. 19, 2018

Forgotten Friday | How Foster Care Is Changing Me

I’m an expert on change. Not because I ever wanted to be, but simply because it’s what I know. It’s my close counterpart and my experience qualifies my expertise in this area. When I started this season, I believed I was doing a good thing. I was being obedient to the call on my life to simply say yes to the unknown. The future felt bright and full of hope. I was the hero. I was the one doing the rescuing; the first responder bringing relief and recovery to those trapped on the road to nowhere. Then Jesus wrecked me. […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingOct. 12, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Hast Thou Not Seen?

I’m trying to sulk about my foster care frustrations today. It was such a perfect day for it. Cold, pouring rain. The day after both a holiday weekend AND my son’s birthday when the let-down of all the celebration drops you into the gutter. The good news is that good friends don’t let you sulk. They are understanding of the challenges in my life, but don’t let me wallow. Much encouragement, more prayer–that’s what I get. And that’s what I need! Also, I turned on Pandora and Fernando Ortega started singing Praise to the Lord the Almighty: Praise to the […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsOct. 5, 2018

Forgotten Friday | It’s Been a Long Time, Birth Mother

It’s been a long time, birth mother. Today marks the tenth anniversary of the adoption of our son; yet, in many ways, it feels like it was just yesterday. I often think back to when you and I were taking turns rocking him during visits. Is this what other mothers formed through adoption think about? Is this how other mothers formed through adoption feel? In many ways, we are stuck in those first moments when little souls entered our lives. In other ways, we feel far away from those moments. To look back through this past decade, I still fondly […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 28, 2018

Forgotten Friday | When Hope Hides

I’m here again. In a season of shadows and darkness. The light flickers in the distance but it’s dim. I find myself blinking and staring again to make sure it’s really there. Loneliness stands to my left. Fear to my right. And when I look at my reflection, I see failure. I can’t make myself attach to this kid. I want to…I think. But the wall rises around my heart. Protection from pain forces me to come face to face with my reality. This foster care thing isn’t natural. It’s not the way it was supposed to be. I want […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 21, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Circling Jericho

Today is my son’s 999th day in foster care. You might think I’m kidding, but I have an online calendar running. 1,000 days tomorrow since we became his “resource parents,” as the state says. I was eight days behind on my kids’ advent calendar (A Jesse Tree handmade by a dear friend of mine that traces the lineage of Christ), so this morning was the story of Joshua. I’m sitting at my kitchen table, stressing about testifying in court…all the while, reading and telling my kids about how the Israelites were in the same situation! (Ok, not the same, but keep […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 14, 2018

Forgotten Friday | It’s not my story to tell.

The two-year-old girls currently living in our home are the exact same height with blonde hair and only a 0.2 pound difference in their weight. I’m a biological mom to one and a foster mom to the other. They’re five months apart, and there has not been a day that I’ve gone into public with them when I’ve not been asked by a random stranger (if not 3-4 random strangers), “Are they twins?”  Usually, I politely smile and say, “No they’re not,” and the little girls continue stuffing their faces while I continue stuffing the grocery cart. My brief answer suffices […]

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