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Category: Forgotten Fridays

Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJan. 13, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Their Hearts Matter

“Guard your heart,” they said. I almost bought into it too… …and I understand where they’re coming from. Protect my heart. It’s the only way. Love half-way so that my heart can’t break. If I don’t let myself love this guy with all the love in my heart, there is less of a chance that I’ll hurt in the end. I know they’re just worried about us, worried that our hearts will break. They love us, they don’t want to see us in pain. This little man who we have fallen so deep for… To think about him leaving… is […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationJan. 6, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Foster Kids Don’t Have Birthparents

Yesterday I was driving my six kids to a foster parent training class when one of my children said, “I want to see that Kung Fu Panda movie. The one where he finds his REAL dad.” I felt my stomach tighten and I locked eyes with my oldest child in the rearview mirror and I heard him mumble, “Oh boy” because he knew exactly what speech was coming and what questions the child who said “real dad” would have to answer. I know it’s just a movie and these are just pretend panda relationships, but in our family we have […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingDec. 30, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Pennies, Pennies Everywhere

We recently sat in the dark theatre watching Disney’s latest movie Frozen. At one point, my 4-year old foster son made his way to my side, frightened. Scene after scene I held him, sitting like that well past the point of scary snow monsters and ice-filled fury. And then there came a part in the movie where they start talking about true love—where they mention that it means loving another person and thinking and caring for them first. (Little things like that touch me deep these days. Most things do when your heart is being daily stretched and hammered and […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingDec. 23, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Pass It On

“Do you know why we give presents at Christmas?” I asked L., my foster child. “So everybody can see our stuff.” Sigh.  “Let’s try this again.” I think Christmas is one of the toughest and most wonderful times to be a parent. It’s tough because everything around your kid is screaming the selfish “more, me, gimme.” It’s wonderful because there are so many opportunities to talk about Jesus. Shopping with a 5-year-old child is tough. I generally avoid it whenever possible, jetting through the grocery store on my lunch break or picking up prescriptions right before I go to the […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingDec. 16, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Four Things Every Child in Foster Care Needs this Christmas

(This article originally appeared on Adoption.com.) This can be an extra rough time for kids separated from their birth families. Being in foster care is difficult; especially during the holiday season. Christmas can bring up a whole host of emotions in children and youth who have found themselves caught up in the child welfare system. Foster parents may experience a variety of emotions and behaviors during this time of year. Although these things are expected and understandable, there are things that foster families and others can do to help these kids still have a merry Christmas Here are four things […]

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Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingDec. 9, 2016

Forgotten Friday | I am not cut out for this

Some days I’m jealous. Our foster son has been in our home and our hearts for 365 days. He was 17 days old when we picked him up, and I would be lying if I said these past 17 days haven’t been sopping in jealousy. Reflecting on the days of his life before I knew him has been uniquely joyful and grievous. I wish I could have been there on his birthday; I wish I could have held him close in his first moments and watched him take his first breath. I wish I could have gotten to know him […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsDec. 2, 2016

Forgotten Friday | 3 Reasons Not to Vilify My Kid’s Birth Mother

There’s often an assumption that since our children are adopted, or have been adopted from the foster care system, their birth mothers must be bad people, or have done some really bad stuff. The truth is, this is an unfair assumption to make about a human being. We’ve often wondered how someone, who knows very little about our children, their story, or their birth mother’s story, can point a finger and judge. It’s not in our DNA to do this to any human being. Certainly not the person who gave our children life. We believe birth mom’s should never be vilified. Here […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 25, 2016

Forgotten Friday | The Logic of Inefficiency

On our way to see Mr. Zach I love logic and efficiency, but there’s not really much logical or efficient about a 5-year-old boy. As a parent of a kindergartner, I deal with some unreasonableness, and I get to say pretty interesting things. Things I’ve never said before. Things like, “Please don’t put your toe in your mouth,” and, “We don’t have to announce our farts,” and, “Yes, I’m sure I don’t have a baby in my tummy,” and, “The amount of time you just spent arguing about washing your hands was about fifteen times longer than it would have […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsNov. 18, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Nine Months In

This week marks nine months of caring for our foster son. Nine. Months. …and it just occurred to me: we have cared for him for as long as she carried him. Maybe that’s why she called this week after so long. Maybe she’s grieving, maybe she’s missing him a little extra as she sits on the gravity of what happened nine months ago. Half of his life he was with her more intimately than he will ever be with me. I’ll never feel his kicks and hiccups or see my body growing as he grows inside of me. He was […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 11, 2016

Forgotten Friday | 5 Signs My Son Is Developing A Healthy Attachment

We are created for attachment. By attachment, What I mean by attachment is a healthy relationship with other people. Sadly, many of us aren’t very good at it. If this is new to you, read this blog post—What Is Your Attachment Dance? I often notice the interaction between a child and his or her parents. I smile when I see a child confidently interact with his or her environment. I know that a lot of that has to do with how much that child trusts his or her attachment parent. Then I also notice when a child feels insecure. The […]

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