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Category: Forgotten Fridays

Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingOct. 19, 2018

Forgotten Friday | How Foster Care Is Changing Me

I’m an expert on change. Not because I ever wanted to be, but simply because it’s what I know. It’s my close counterpart and my experience qualifies my expertise in this area. When I started this season, I believed I was doing a good thing. I was being obedient to the call on my life to simply say yes to the unknown. The future felt bright and full of hope. I was the hero. I was the one doing the rescuing; the first responder bringing relief and recovery to those trapped on the road to nowhere. Then Jesus wrecked me. […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingOct. 12, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Hast Thou Not Seen?

I’m trying to sulk about my foster care frustrations today. It was such a perfect day for it. Cold, pouring rain. The day after both a holiday weekend AND my son’s birthday when the let-down of all the celebration drops you into the gutter. The good news is that good friends don’t let you sulk. They are understanding of the challenges in my life, but don’t let me wallow. Much encouragement, more prayer–that’s what I get. And that’s what I need! Also, I turned on Pandora and Fernando Ortega started singing Praise to the Lord the Almighty: Praise to the […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsOct. 5, 2018

Forgotten Friday | It’s Been a Long Time, Birth Mother

It’s been a long time, birth mother. Today marks the tenth anniversary of the adoption of our son; yet, in many ways, it feels like it was just yesterday. I often think back to when you and I were taking turns rocking him during visits. Is this what other mothers formed through adoption think about? Is this how other mothers formed through adoption feel? In many ways, we are stuck in those first moments when little souls entered our lives. In other ways, we feel far away from those moments. To look back through this past decade, I still fondly […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 28, 2018

Forgotten Friday | When Hope Hides

I’m here again. In a season of shadows and darkness. The light flickers in the distance but it’s dim. I find myself blinking and staring again to make sure it’s really there. Loneliness stands to my left. Fear to my right. And when I look at my reflection, I see failure. I can’t make myself attach to this kid. I want to…I think. But the wall rises around my heart. Protection from pain forces me to come face to face with my reality. This foster care thing isn’t natural. It’s not the way it was supposed to be. I want […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 21, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Circling Jericho

Today is my son’s 999th day in foster care. You might think I’m kidding, but I have an online calendar running. 1,000 days tomorrow since we became his “resource parents,” as the state says. I was eight days behind on my kids’ advent calendar (A Jesse Tree handmade by a dear friend of mine that traces the lineage of Christ), so this morning was the story of Joshua. I’m sitting at my kitchen table, stressing about testifying in court…all the while, reading and telling my kids about how the Israelites were in the same situation! (Ok, not the same, but keep […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 14, 2018

Forgotten Friday | It’s not my story to tell.

The two-year-old girls currently living in our home are the exact same height with blonde hair and only a 0.2 pound difference in their weight. I’m a biological mom to one and a foster mom to the other. They’re five months apart, and there has not been a day that I’ve gone into public with them when I’ve not been asked by a random stranger (if not 3-4 random strangers), “Are they twins?”  Usually, I politely smile and say, “No they’re not,” and the little girls continue stuffing their faces while I continue stuffing the grocery cart. My brief answer suffices […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 7, 2018

Forgotten Friday | How to Successfully Advocate for Your Children

Your job as a parent is to make sure your children receive the best possible services. Whether this is within your school system, your pediatricians office, or your family therapist’s office. You do this because you care. But what do you do when you feel like you can’t adequately communicate the needs of your child? You’ve probably experienced something like this when speaking to a professional: “It doesn’t look like there’s anything wrong with him?” “I understand you believe she has a special need, but she is a great student, well-liked, and makes good grades. We are not sure she […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 31, 2018

Forgotten Friday | When Wasps Become Butterflies

When I was first born my parents were living on a countryside in rural Missouri. They rented a big, old farm house bordering the Missouri State Penitentiary that had a life of its own, including mushrooms growing from the carpet, a swarm of wasps nesting in the ceiling, an army of ants infesting the downstairs closet and so much dampness that anything made of metal soon rusted…not to mention the bricks that had to be placed under the furniture to correct the uneven floors! My parents were newly married and my father had just taken a job as a minister […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 24, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Replacing the Mom I Thought I Would Be with the Mom My Children Need

Replacing The Mom I Thought I Would Be With The Mom My Children Need… This thought has raced through my mind this week. I’ve sat on my bed, saddened, throwing my hands up in the air and thinking, “This is not what it’s supposed to feel like. This is not normal. I want to do normal things with my kids. I want to be able to take them to a late night event without worrying about giving medication or some medication wearing off, or some crazy, impulsive act, or some reaction from an attempt to grow closer.” Following several rough […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 17, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Ladybug

It had been a series of challenging weeks. Those ones full of highly emotional dialogue with no resolution surrounding our family and the future of the children we call our own. The full effect of my compassion fatigue fully set in when I hung up the phone outside of the grocery store back restroom area where I was hiding on yet another important and unplanned call regarding potential upcoming plans for children in my care. A few hours later, my four-year-old daughter found a ladybug in the car on my seat. She was outraged that I had not seen “him” […]

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