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Category: Forgotten Fridays

Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 17, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Foster Care and the Father Who Never Says Goodbye

The knot in our stomachs wound tighter as the elevator climbed to the eighth floor. The doors slowly squeaked open, and we made our way down the long hallway. It was a dreary November morning, and the gray from outside seemed to be spilling in through the window panes and casting a sad fog over our hearts. The meeting room was filled with toys of all kinds — stuffed puppies, plastic dinosaurs and baby dolls with cheerful but worn faces, all telling the tales of children, birth parents, and foster families who sat in this room before us for their […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 10, 2017

Forgotten Friday | 5 Deescalation Tips for Moms of Kids who Rage

The other night I got to speak to a group of potential foster parents who were just about to finish their training classes. They had really great questions about the realities of foster care and a realistic understanding that training classes are just not able to address all the potential scenarios you’ll run into as a foster parent. One woman asked a great question about how you deescalate kids who are really angry. Over our years working with kids from toddlers to teens we have found what works and what doesn’t when dealing with angry children. I want to share […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Reunification, Vulnerable ParentsMar. 3, 2017

Forgotten Friday | The Ache of a Mom Heart

Parenting is hard no matter how you approach it, but there are a lot of things that biological parents take for granted—like knowing your child’s full history. The state gives you all the information they have, but sometimes information is scarce, and you have to become your own private detective. You study your child for clues about their past. You look for trigger situations. You have to figure out if they have any allergies or major food aversions or favorite traditions. Sometimes you have to go hunting, too. Since so much of life is lived online these days, you actually […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Ways to ServeFeb. 24, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Stop Confusing Your Calling with His Commands

As I grew into adulthood, I often wondered, prayed about, wrestled with and sought counsel over my calling. I looked to the lives of so many valiant souls that crossed my unsettled path for direction and motivation. What was I going to do with my life? What was my calling? My calling? My calling? That word was so weighted and I felt trapped. I thought there was a right or wrong decision. The process of discerning my next steps–all of my steps–felt final. Then the what ifs followed. What if I chose the wrong calling? What if I wasn’t hearing […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Education, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Ways to ServeFeb. 17, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Why Will the Church Not Respond to the Call?

Take a look at this graphic from Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO). Please look carefully. The top number represents the number of children waiting in foster care in that state that can be adopted. The bottom number represents the number of churches in that state. What does it say to you? One way to please God is to care for orphans. God shares a few sure-fire ways to please him, and caring for orphans is one of them. And the way I read His Word where He talks about caring for orphans, it’s not a suggestion. He usually says it […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationFeb. 10, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Praying for the Case Plan: Reunification Is the Primary Goal

Family and friends– I get it. We prayerfully make the decision to bring another child into our home and by doing so we unintentionally indirectly ask more from you in our relationship. Without warning we ask you love and accept a child we do not tell you much about. We assume you are willing to do this just because you share life with us. We indirectly ask you to celebrate with our home when things are good. We ask you to support us when things are rough. And, we sometimes put you in a situation to grieve the loss of […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Education, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationFeb. 3, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Foster Children Need the Church

One of the bravest women I know is the woman who gave birth to my son. She was young, it was her first child, her life was unstable, and she hadn’t made all the best decisions up to that point. In fact, some of her decisions would have lasting consequences for her and her unborn child. Yet she remains one of the most courageous women I know, because she let this little one grow inside her, not knowing what the future would hold. When it would have been perhaps “in her best interest” or “more convenient” to visit the abortion […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJan. 27, 2017

Forgotten Friday | The Night My Son Finally Woke Me Up

photo credit: The Full Moon of Glen Ellyn via photopin (license) I was somewhere in between that deep sleep of the deprived and the alert sleep of the maternal. I lay there silently and I couldn’t remember the last time I had slept through the night. I heard it again. A quiet, faint “mom.” Over and over. Several times to the point that I sat up in bed. Just the fact that he’s calling me “mom” is a wonderment. For the longest of times, I was a stranger and then a familiar, safe person. I was a caretaker and then […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJan. 20, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Can I Ask You Something? (Part 1)

People usually have a lot of questions when my foster journey comes up. Here are the answers to some of the most frequently asked questions. 1. You’re not married, so how does that work? Well, since I don’t actually have to bear the child, that cuts down on a lot of front-end complication of becoming a single mom. When I accept a placement, the social worker will bring the kid(s) to my house (usually, it’s same-day delivery). But really, after the first bit, it pretty much works the same way as any single-working-parent situation. And as much as I love […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJan. 13, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Their Hearts Matter

“Guard your heart,” they said. I almost bought into it too… …and I understand where they’re coming from. Protect my heart. It’s the only way. Love half-way so that my heart can’t break. If I don’t let myself love this guy with all the love in my heart, there is less of a chance that I’ll hurt in the end. I know they’re just worried about us, worried that our hearts will break. They love us, they don’t want to see us in pain. This little man who we have fallen so deep for… To think about him leaving… is […]

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