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Category: Forgotten Fridays

Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingApr. 21, 2017

Forgotten Friday | 7 Ways You Are Making Parenting a Foster or Adopted Child Hard

Parenting might be the hardest thing in the world. And if you bring a child into your home who isn’t your biological child and is dealing with all kinds of wounds, you just raised the bar. Many times we enter into a relationship with a wounded child and think that we can parent them just like we do or would parent a biological child. It simply isn’t true. I know some foster or adoptive parents don’t deal with challenges with the children that they have brought into their home. However, most do. And about the time you think you have […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingApr. 14, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Control.

I like control. I like to choose what’s going to happen, when and how. Yes, yes. More of that, please. Instead though, I chose to parent. And in parenting, we give up control. Kids are their own little people with their own personalities and preferences. No matter how many books we read or behavior charts we make, we can’t control them. But I’m realizing, typically parents do still get to control quite a bit. At least for a while. I never really thought about all that traditional parents get to control. Until I became a foster parent. And wanted to […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten FridaysApr. 7, 2017

Forgotten Friday | My Parenting May Seem Strict, But I Have A Few Good Reasons For It

The glares, stares, and judgmental glances. We’ve seen it all in our 15 years on the adoptive and foster care journey. Particularly as we’ve worked hard to parent children with major special needs. While we owe no one an explanation, we have some solid reasons for parenting our children the way we do. It’s a mild September afternoon in Central Indiana where we live. My family and I have spent the past hour watching my oldest son play football for his 7th grade team. Another game, another victory. This team is so good it’s scary. As the clock tics down […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Education, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 31, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Are You Afraid of Your Child’s Big Emotions?

The first few years of our marriage I didn’t attune well to my wife’s emotions—especially when she got excited about something. As an expressive person, she jumped, laughed, ran around, and screamed with excitement—all while I stood with a simple smile on my face and would say, “That’s great honey.” That response, or lack thereof, always threw a wet blanket on her excitement. I definitely wasn’t attuned to her emotions. Then we got a little guy who also has big emotions. Some of this is his personality, no doubt. But most kids from a hard place come to us with […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 24, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Secondary Trauma: How Your Child’s Special Needs May Be Affecting You

We know that children who have come from difficult places experience trauma, but what about you and I as parents? How do we handle the secondary trauma we experience as a result of the day in and day out battle of parenting them? “Listen, you’re blood pressure is just too high. You need to lose some weight, eat healthier and get some exercise. Getting out for a workout will lower your stress level too. I know you can find just a few minutes in your day. On your way out, stop by the front desk and schedule an appointment for […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 17, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Foster Care and the Father Who Never Says Goodbye

The knot in our stomachs wound tighter as the elevator climbed to the eighth floor. The doors slowly squeaked open, and we made our way down the long hallway. It was a dreary November morning, and the gray from outside seemed to be spilling in through the window panes and casting a sad fog over our hearts. The meeting room was filled with toys of all kinds — stuffed puppies, plastic dinosaurs and baby dolls with cheerful but worn faces, all telling the tales of children, birth parents, and foster families who sat in this room before us for their […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 10, 2017

Forgotten Friday | 5 Deescalation Tips for Moms of Kids who Rage

The other night I got to speak to a group of potential foster parents who were just about to finish their training classes. They had really great questions about the realities of foster care and a realistic understanding that training classes are just not able to address all the potential scenarios you’ll run into as a foster parent. One woman asked a great question about how you deescalate kids who are really angry. Over our years working with kids from toddlers to teens we have found what works and what doesn’t when dealing with angry children. I want to share […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Reunification, Vulnerable ParentsMar. 3, 2017

Forgotten Friday | The Ache of a Mom Heart

Parenting is hard no matter how you approach it, but there are a lot of things that biological parents take for granted—like knowing your child’s full history. The state gives you all the information they have, but sometimes information is scarce, and you have to become your own private detective. You study your child for clues about their past. You look for trigger situations. You have to figure out if they have any allergies or major food aversions or favorite traditions. Sometimes you have to go hunting, too. Since so much of life is lived online these days, you actually […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Ways to ServeFeb. 24, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Stop Confusing Your Calling with His Commands

As I grew into adulthood, I often wondered, prayed about, wrestled with and sought counsel over my calling. I looked to the lives of so many valiant souls that crossed my unsettled path for direction and motivation. What was I going to do with my life? What was my calling? My calling? My calling? That word was so weighted and I felt trapped. I thought there was a right or wrong decision. The process of discerning my next steps–all of my steps–felt final. Then the what ifs followed. What if I chose the wrong calling? What if I wasn’t hearing […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Education, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Ways to ServeFeb. 17, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Why Will the Church Not Respond to the Call?

Take a look at this graphic from Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO). Please look carefully. The top number represents the number of children waiting in foster care in that state that can be adopted. The bottom number represents the number of churches in that state. What does it say to you? One way to please God is to care for orphans. God shares a few sure-fire ways to please him, and caring for orphans is one of them. And the way I read His Word where He talks about caring for orphans, it’s not a suggestion. He usually says it […]

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