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Category: Forgotten Fridays

Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsDec. 2, 2016

Forgotten Friday | 3 Reasons Not to Vilify My Kid’s Birth Mother

There’s often an assumption that since our children are adopted, or have been adopted from the foster care system, their birth mothers must be bad people, or have done some really bad stuff. The truth is, this is an unfair assumption to make about a human being. We’ve often wondered how someone, who knows very little about our children, their story, or their birth mother’s story, can point a finger and judge. It’s not in our DNA to do this to any human being. Certainly not the person who gave our children life. We believe birth mom’s should never be vilified. Here […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 25, 2016

Forgotten Friday | The Logic of Inefficiency

On our way to see Mr. Zach I love logic and efficiency, but there’s not really much logical or efficient about a 5-year-old boy. As a parent of a kindergartner, I deal with some unreasonableness, and I get to say pretty interesting things. Things I’ve never said before. Things like, “Please don’t put your toe in your mouth,” and, “We don’t have to announce our farts,” and, “Yes, I’m sure I don’t have a baby in my tummy,” and, “The amount of time you just spent arguing about washing your hands was about fifteen times longer than it would have […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsNov. 18, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Nine Months In

This week marks nine months of caring for our foster son. Nine. Months. …and it just occurred to me: we have cared for him for as long as she carried him. Maybe that’s why she called this week after so long. Maybe she’s grieving, maybe she’s missing him a little extra as she sits on the gravity of what happened nine months ago. Half of his life he was with her more intimately than he will ever be with me. I’ll never feel his kicks and hiccups or see my body growing as he grows inside of me. He was […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 11, 2016

Forgotten Friday | 5 Signs My Son Is Developing A Healthy Attachment

We are created for attachment. By attachment, What I mean by attachment is a healthy relationship with other people. Sadly, many of us aren’t very good at it. If this is new to you, read this blog post—What Is Your Attachment Dance? I often notice the interaction between a child and his or her parents. I smile when I see a child confidently interact with his or her environment. I know that a lot of that has to do with how much that child trusts his or her attachment parent. Then I also notice when a child feels insecure. The […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 4, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Why New? Providing for foster youth and why new is so important

Some people might think I am being a little extreme when I say we should really try to fulfill foster youths’ needs with new things. Well, I will do my best to explain why this could make all the difference for these young men and women. Imagine a 6-year-old little girl. She has two younger siblings; they are 3 and 1. She goes to school every day and is in the first grade. She loves playing with dolls and all things sparkly. Her clothes are tattered and they smell of smoke and must. When she gets home from school her […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingOct. 28, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Life Changing Love

Experiencing God as King has long been my thing, but grasping His deep love for me has often proven elusive….until he recently revealed it in a most profound way. It was Friday and I was taking my foster son out of the car after dropping the big kids off at school. Smiling at that darling face, I hefted him onto my hip and smooched my thousandth kiss. He buried his little head in my neck and I marveled again at my love for him. Because despite the fact that he’s not from my body, I love this baby boy. The way […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingOct. 21, 2016

Forgotten Friday | The Unseen Child

All photos by Rebecca Tredway Photography Sometimes those commercials are just too much for me. You know the ones—maybe they’re trying to motivate you to give money for starving children or shelter for homeless animals. Whatever the end result, they try to get you there by showing you pictures that are guaranteed to break your heart. And they do it because it works! We are visual people and it helps us to see the need and visualize the difference we could make. When we sponsor a child overseas, we want to see their face. When we reunite with an old friend […]

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Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingOct. 14, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Praying for Your Foster Child’s Family

Foster parenting is a continual struggle to come to terms with our lack of control. While we are responsible for all the practical decisions that affect the child in our care, we have no control over the major decisions that affect their future. This is a precarious position to find yourself in and has been one of my major challenges in foster parenting. Sometimes I have tried to respond to this loss of control by worrying or even trying to manipulate the situation to go in a direction I think is best, but ultimately I have had to let go […]

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Advocacy, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, UncategorizedOct. 7, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Why Foster Care Isn’t Adoption

Before I was a foster mom…I find myself starting lots of sentences off like that these days. There’s so much I am learning and seeing and realizing I was wrong about. Before I was a foster mom, foster care and adoption rolled out of my mouth in the same breath. They were like cute little siblings that mirrored this beautiful picture of God’s great redemption and necessary rescuing. I thought they were so similar in their efforts to reveal who Jesus is to a broken world. And they do that. for sure. But that’s where their similarities end for me. […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 30, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Adoption is Not Second Best

Maybe it’s my “mom hair” (thanks, New York Times, for that label) or maybe it’s that I look perpetually tired that encourages near strangers to ask me how many kids I have. At my last dental cleaning, my hygienist (whom I had only met one time prior) asked this very question. “Two,” I replied. “Oh! That’s great!! How old are they?!” “Seven.” I tried to stick with one-word answers because A) she had her hands in my mouth and B) our kids’ entrance to our family is complicated, and I often don’t divulge the details to strangers because I don’t […]

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