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Category: Forgotten Fridays

Education, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 26, 2016

Forgotten Friday | 5 Ways Foster Care Can Destroy A Healthy Marriage (and how to prevent it from happening to you)

If there’s one thing that pays the price the most in foster care (or adoption), it’s the health of your marriage. How do you maintain the most important relationship you have and care for the children who have been placed in your home? We stood on opposite ends of our kitchen staring at one another, tired, defeated, and barely awake. The sad part? It was 8pm on a Saturday. We weren’t this tired because we were well into our 30’s. We could have made a great case for ourselves if so. No, this was the work of parenting. But not […]

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Adoption, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsAug. 19, 2016

Forgotten Friday | The Bittersweet Nature of Adoption

When we began our journey into foster care and adoption I had no idea what would lie before us. We focused on our needs and wants—we wanted a family—with a tinge of social justice—we needed to care for orphans. We definitely looked at adoption through rose-colored glasses not understanding all that accompanied the journey. CPS placed our son with us when he was about eight-months-old. Immediately both Danielle and I leapt into protective mode. Someone injured this little guy, and we felt called to protect him from further harm. Naturally we intended to protect him from those who caused him […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsAug. 12, 2016

Forgotten Friday | I still think of you, birth mother

 {photo credit: www.freedomphotography.smugmug.com} I still think of you, birth mother. You are always with me. Each embrace, each kiss, each smile, and each moment of growth, I think of you. This week marks the fifth year since the adoption of my son…our son, and yet; I still think of you. It seems like a lifetime ago since we talked about him. I remember our talks while taking turns rocking him. We were in love with the same child. Our love for him opened the door for our relationship. You are the one who started loving him the moment you knew […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Ways to ServeAug. 5, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Why Churches Need to Step Up: Increasing Foster Homes in Our Nation

Recently, I have been overwhelmed with some disturbing facts related to our nations foster care system. Not facts related to the process, but facts related to foster homes. Or, should I say, the lack of foster homes across the nation. Let’s focus on Arizona first. During a 6 month period over 25,000 calls were received by the Child Abuse Hotline that met criteria for a DCS report, increasing the number of children placed in out-of-home care over 1000 for a total of nearly 17,000 children (CASA of Arizona). It is hard to even fathom these numbers. Where do these 17,000 […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsJul. 29, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Dear (Foster) Momma of a Stranger’s Child {Letter #6}

Dear Foster Momma of a Stranger’s Child, You drove away the other day, didn’t you? You packed up your car with a year or two worth of memories of the child you have loved on, held on for one last time, kissed goodbye, and drove away. You just wanted to turn the car around. You wanted to grab that little one, and hold on. You needed to feel that sweet embrace one last time, but you could not. As the miles began to separate you from the child you have called your own, the tears began to flow. You held […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsJul. 22, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Letting Go: When Foster Care Hurts

Granting yourself permission to love and grieve. The journey of foster care is not free of pain, nor deep hurt, in the least bit. But allowing yourself to feel the emotions that come from loving a child from a difficult place may fill you up more than you realize. 20 years ago. “Let go!” the camp counselor shouted encouragingly from 100 feet below. With one hand gripping the zip line tightly and the other hand securely fastened to the tower, I stared at the tops of the trees below. Adrenaline coursed through me and my senses were completely on alert. The […]

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Adoption, Education, Encouragement, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 1, 2016

Forgotten Friday | How to Find Hope on the Road of Foster Care & Adoption

Adoption and foster care can be filled with loneliness, desperation, and defeat. Can you really find hope in-spite of this? The answer is, yes. It starts by understanding something powerful and true. “I don’t think I can take one more day of this,” I said, glaring at the table, with a clinched fist and gritting teeth. My friend agreed. Many colorful words were exchanged between us, that morning, as we sat talking in a restaurant. The steam from our coffee snaked and twisted through the air, disappearing, as if hope was slowly disappearing with it. We shared similar wounds. Both […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationJun. 24, 2016

Forgotten Friday | His Love is Always Enough

It’s your last day in my arms. I knew we would share one of these dreaded memories but the blow isn’t softened by knowledge of its impending arrival. Regardless of my reservations and fears about your move, you’re still leaving. And the ache of these moments steals the breath from my lungs-even after so many goodbyes. One decision by a judge who doesn’t know either of us, in a system that is too far gone to fix, triggered a 48-hour countdown to our first steps without each other. Laundry, packing, paperwork, medications, diapers, wipes, formula and the list lengthens as […]

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Advocacy, Aging Out Youth, Children in Foster Care, Education, Forgotten Fridays, Vulnerable ParentsJun. 10, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Everyone Has a Story: The Little Boy With No Name

My heart breaks every time I think about this little 8 year old boy who lives at the residential treatment center (RTC) in our community. The majority of the children living at the RTC are in (or have been in) foster care. Most of them have been in and out of up to 7 or 8 foster homes before coming to the RTC where they get 24 hour care in a therapeutic environment. Many of these kids have experienced trauma, abuse, and neglect in more extreme forms then those in traditional foster homes. Some have been in the RTC for […]

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Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsJun. 3, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Because I’m a Broken Mama

Our journey through foster care has been refining and revealing of so many ‘heart deficits.’ The further we get into this the more clearly we understand the risk we have taken in loving a child who may leave us one day…. and the more clearly we understand why God has asked us to. My hope when we originally sought foster certification was to grow our family by adopting a child through foster care. I believe fully that if the Lord allows it this may happen one day with one or more future foster children, however, adoption is no longer the […]

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