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Category: Forgotten Fridays

Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsJul. 29, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Dear (Foster) Momma of a Stranger’s Child {Letter #6}

Dear Foster Momma of a Stranger’s Child, You drove away the other day, didn’t you? You packed up your car with a year or two worth of memories of the child you have loved on, held on for one last time, kissed goodbye, and drove away. You just wanted to turn the car around. You wanted to grab that little one, and hold on. You needed to feel that sweet embrace one last time, but you could not. As the miles began to separate you from the child you have called your own, the tears began to flow. You held […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsJul. 22, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Letting Go: When Foster Care Hurts

Granting yourself permission to love and grieve. The journey of foster care is not free of pain, nor deep hurt, in the least bit. But allowing yourself to feel the emotions that come from loving a child from a difficult place may fill you up more than you realize. 20 years ago. “Let go!” the camp counselor shouted encouragingly from 100 feet below. With one hand gripping the zip line tightly and the other hand securely fastened to the tower, I stared at the tops of the trees below. Adrenaline coursed through me and my senses were completely on alert. The […]

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Adoption, Education, Encouragement, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 1, 2016

Forgotten Friday | How to Find Hope on the Road of Foster Care & Adoption

Adoption and foster care can be filled with loneliness, desperation, and defeat. Can you really find hope in-spite of this? The answer is, yes. It starts by understanding something powerful and true. “I don’t think I can take one more day of this,” I said, glaring at the table, with a clinched fist and gritting teeth. My friend agreed. Many colorful words were exchanged between us, that morning, as we sat talking in a restaurant. The steam from our coffee snaked and twisted through the air, disappearing, as if hope was slowly disappearing with it. We shared similar wounds. Both […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationJun. 24, 2016

Forgotten Friday | His Love is Always Enough

It’s your last day in my arms. I knew we would share one of these dreaded memories but the blow isn’t softened by knowledge of its impending arrival. Regardless of my reservations and fears about your move, you’re still leaving. And the ache of these moments steals the breath from my lungs-even after so many goodbyes. One decision by a judge who doesn’t know either of us, in a system that is too far gone to fix, triggered a 48-hour countdown to our first steps without each other. Laundry, packing, paperwork, medications, diapers, wipes, formula and the list lengthens as […]

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Advocacy, Aging Out Youth, Children in Foster Care, Education, Forgotten Fridays, Vulnerable ParentsJun. 10, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Everyone Has a Story: The Little Boy With No Name

My heart breaks every time I think about this little 8 year old boy who lives at the residential treatment center (RTC) in our community. The majority of the children living at the RTC are in (or have been in) foster care. Most of them have been in and out of up to 7 or 8 foster homes before coming to the RTC where they get 24 hour care in a therapeutic environment. Many of these kids have experienced trauma, abuse, and neglect in more extreme forms then those in traditional foster homes. Some have been in the RTC for […]

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Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsJun. 3, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Because I’m a Broken Mama

Our journey through foster care has been refining and revealing of so many ‘heart deficits.’ The further we get into this the more clearly we understand the risk we have taken in loving a child who may leave us one day…. and the more clearly we understand why God has asked us to. My hope when we originally sought foster certification was to grow our family by adopting a child through foster care. I believe fully that if the Lord allows it this may happen one day with one or more future foster children, however, adoption is no longer the […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Care Affects on Kids Already in Your Home, Foster ParentingMay. 27, 2016

Forgotten Friday | My Fierce Love is Free for All of My Kids

Last week, you asked about my kids. You questioned how they were processing and coping and adjusting in our ever-evolving lifestyle. Babies are frequently coming or going or coming AND going. Our home is a habitual hustle and our lives are run by the rhythm of court dates and case workers. We are invariably inconvenienced by the poor life choices of others. And we like it that way. We chose this. And we choose this. You’re worried about my kids. I get that. Their well-being isn’t far from my every thought either, so I appreciate the kind concern. You want […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Education, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMay. 20, 2016

Forgotten Friday | 3 Things My Kids’ Tantrums Have Taught Me

When my husband and I chose foster to adopt to expand our family, we were prepared to love and provide for our kids. We were even prepared to constantly have caseworkers and therapists in our home and for the required hoop jumping for foster care and adoption. What we were completely unprepared for was the tantrums–the raging, the kicking, the hitting, the destruction, the 90 minutes of screaming. We didn’t know how to bounce back after one of these fits of rage. But, after two years in the trenches, our kids’ tantrums have taught us three valuable lessons: 1. Kids […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Care Workers, Foster ParentingMay. 13, 2016

Forgotten Friday | When the Phone Rings

Hi it’s me again, I’m calling about a child, If you have a minute to talk, I promise it will be worth your while Yes we’ve got another one, This poor girl’s come into care, She’s been through a lot, And we can’t send her back to you know where She cries, she fights, she hoards, she lies, But if you take a moment, And look into her eyes, She’s broken, she’s torn, she puts up a fight, But deep in her heart she is not alright Help me, help her and help him too, They will be left alone […]

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Advocacy, Encouragement, Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsMay. 6, 2016

Forgotten Friday | A Love Letter to Our Biological Mother

Dear B, It’s Mother’s Day. And this is the first one since you surrendered your parental rights and now our children are on the brink of our forever family. Not an easy day for either of us. This Mother’s Day, I feel particularly wrecked. So many people wishing me a happy day, many times over. They know a small part of our story and they know five children–3 biological and 2 that we share–call me mama. But they don’t know the whole story. Our children–all of them–have had to endure brokenness in order to have redemption. They’ve all loved and […]

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