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Category: Forgotten Fridays

Adoption, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 1, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Making a Lifetime Commitment to Your Adopted Child

Too many children have lost their “forever family” when they were placed back into the system by their adoptive family. During my years working as a frontline case manager for children in state custody, I was appalled at the numbers of kids on my caseload, and fellow staff members’ caseloads, who had been adopted years prior and then were placed back into the system by their adoptive family. This is an unfortunate, almost unbelievable reality for too many children who were promised their “forever” home and had to learn the hard way that forever does not always mean what it […]

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Education, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMay. 25, 2018

Forgotten Friday | 4 Ways to Partner with Your Child’s School over Summer Break

Believe it or not, summer is the perfect time to start planning for a new school year. A few weeks ago we shared a podcast episode entitled How To Form Healthy Partnerships With Your Child’s School. As a follow up, we wanted to share additional steps you can take now, to form a solid connection with your child’s school before the new school year begins. It’s almost summer here in Indiana! My kids are planning trips to the pool, playdates and sleepovers. I’m tempted to get caught up in all the summer fun daydreams. But before I can break out […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Ways to ServeMay. 18, 2018

Forgotten Friday | If You Can’t Foster or Adopt 10 Kids, Stand Up for at Least One

Let’s admit it. A stereotype exists for foster families. When I say foster, most picture the family that drives a large van or nowadays something like a Sprinter, has boxes of diapers and clothes stacked around their house, and the parents always have that “stressed but I am happy” look. Then we say, “I am glad they are able to do that because I couldn’t.” After we excuse ourselves from fostering or adopting children, we don’t think about it until it confronts us again. I am one of those persons that said that I could never be that kind of […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMay. 11, 2018

Forgotten Friday | A Foster Mom’s Mother’s Day

I have six children. That’s what I tell people most days. But that number’s never solid. It can change before I finish sipping my satisfying cup of morning sanity. One phone call from licensing and I suddenly become the temporary mama of a few more. In the same call, I could find out I am losing a kid, dropping my digits once more in this restless ride of foster care. The moments in my motherhood are complicated and I find myself calculating my responses to strangers before they utter their hello. How many kids do you have? My face is […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMay. 4, 2018

Forgotten Friday | On Broken Escalators

I walk down this escalator every time we have court in courtroom H, which is very often. Or at least it feels often because my stomach is in knots and I feel physically sick every time I walk down to turn into the bleak waiting area outside our courtroom. Sure they put a few kid’s books and a painted bench right outside the double doors with warnings that everyone (including myself) ignore about cell phone usage plastered across them, but a few colorful books that are missing pages does little to cause the stress of this place to fade. It […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingApr. 27, 2018

Forgotten Friday | The Beauty of a Life of Brokenness-by-Decision

My path into brokenness began with a prayer: God, break my heart for the things that break yours. He broke my heart. And he broke the lie that this life was about me and my happiness, broke the quest for a perfectly average life, broke the desire for ease and success and passing joys. He broke my heart for foster care and led me to become a foster parent. I upturned my one-girl, one-boy perfect little life for one of chaos and unpredictability. I signed on to a life of continual hellos and goodbyes, one of sadness chosen and loss […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationApr. 20, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Gone.

Our precious Big D is gone. After living life together for seventeen months, gone. Most days it feels surreal. I wonder if he’s really gone. Or if he was ever really here. Knowing the truth, but feeling a variation of it. I feel like it can’t be true because I’m not yet devastated. And every other time I’ve said goodbye to a foster child, it’s been devastating. I miss Big D every day. I miss him asking if we could stop at the corner store on the way to school. I miss finding his grin and showing him mine when […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingApr. 13, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Suddenly, I Missed You

I was lifting weights today–yes, at the gym. Stick with me here. Pandora was blasting music into my eardrums as I danced along in my head. Music can take you places, and I need to be taken anywhere but the treadmill to be inspired. As the melody changed, the tunes transported me back to a mundane moment when you rested in the soft angle of my arms. In an instant, I could feel the heaviness of your infant frame. I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath…but the oxygen couldn’t strong-arm the entitled emotions. Suddenly, right there on […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingApr. 6, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Can You Ever Really Bond With An Older Child?

When it comes to adopting older children, there’s often a belief that, because they’ve been through so much, it’s impossible to form a healthy bond with them. We’ve discovered something different. In our 15 years of parenting we have had the honor of participating in the lives of 23 children. Most of them returned home or went on to be adopted by their forever families; eight of them have stayed forever. Before I became a parent of an older child, I didn’t think much about bonding and attachment. I am attached to my own parents, brothers and sisters. I have […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 30, 2018

Forgotten Friday | The Top 10 Non-Negotiables When Choosing Respite Care Providers

We’re big believers in utilizing respite care when you’re a foster or adoptive parent. But, there are a few musts when it comes to choosing the right person to care for your children. We had to travel down a dangerous dirt road to get to the person’s house. After that, there was an obstacle course to get from the driveway, through the yard, and to the front door. My son was hesitant. “Dad, I’m not staying here!” he proclaimed as we knocked on the front door. Once inside, the challenge to get to her front door seemed like a walk […]

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