Blog Archives

Category: Foster Parenting

Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 16, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Let Us Stop the Talk and Do Something

I get so discouraged when I hear Christians bash others and talk about all the problems we face in the world, but don’t seem to really do much more than talk. I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but now I pray that He will guide me to do whatever I’m supposed to do. I used to pray for answers, but now I’m praying for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things. –Mother Teresa God has called my […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, ReunificationJul. 13, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Not My Own

Your skin is darker, your eyes are bigger, You are not my own. Your hair is curlier, your smile brighter, You are not my own. Your laugh is sweeter, your cry is deeper, You are not my own. You are not my own today, nor not my own tomorrow. Forever you will be, not my own. This is where my heart is tonight: heavy, deep, numb. The thoughts of you are so present in my mind, the burden so heavy on my heart. Who am I to you? A mother? A babysitter? A temporary caretaker? Just a stranger? These questions […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, ReunificationJul. 9, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | How to Support Reunification, Even if You Don’t Want to

If you are a foster parent, you know the word “reunification” comes up a lot. As it now stands, there is a federal law that mandates courts and child welfare agencies to work towards reunification with a biological parent upon children entering care. The law gives fifteen out of twenty-two months for efforts to rectify the reason that children entered care and to assure safety once placed back in the home. People often say, “I could never foster because I could not give the children back.” This is a reasonable response, but it is possible to support the reunification process […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJul. 6, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Starting Over.

The idea of fostering again is daunting. For lots of reasons, but my heart keeps coming back to one. Starting over. After 18 months of growing love and building trust, our precious foster son moved across the country to live with a biological relative. Naturally, I miss him something terrible. I miss his impossibly silly faces and the way he always ran with his arms sticking out straight behind his back like Sonic the Hedgehog. I miss his endless Flash themes and how he said “fiddlefart” when something didn’t go his way. I knew the things he liked and the […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 29, 2018

Forgotten Friday | The Freedom to Be Flawed

Most nights, as my neck finds the curve of my contoured pillow, I close my eyes and breathe in the quiet that has finally found me. The stillness is almost surreal after a day of so much noise. It’s in the silence where moments of my day start to replay.  Some are filled with laughter and smiles and silly dance moves and childhood humor (read: any sentence with the word “fart” inserted. my kids will roll). But others are filled with conflict and failure, starring the less than desirable version of myself. Today, I yelled. I slammed a kitchen cabinet. I reacted instead […]

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Advocacy, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 22, 2018

Forgotten Friday | When Doing Good Isn’t Good

A few years ago, my husband Clint and I were given the amazing privilege of a week-long vacation in Fiji through Clint’s work. While there, we had a very special opportunity to bring some school supplies to children at a local school in need. The children came to our resort to receive the gifts, riding in on a train and singing, no less! Many in our group were eating breakfast as the train pulled in. Those sweet kiddos piled out of the train so that we could take some pics. Then two children came to shake hands with the President […]

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Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJun. 18, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Two journeys.

I haven’t written about this for a few reasons, but mainly because I don’t want it to be a distraction. Foster care isn’t about our infertility. It has never been. We didn’t start fostering because we were infertile. Back then, we didn’t even know. But in recent months, we’ve acknowledged the obvious: We aren’t having kids biologically. It’s sad and hard. But knowing hasn’t changed our reasons for fostering. Quite the opposite. Infertility can make fostering much more difficult. And vice versa. We desire to grow our family. But we desire more to love well the kids who come into our home. And so […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 15, 2018

Forgotten Friday | 7 Things You Should Never Say to Foster or Adoptive Dads on Father’s Day

This coming Sunday is Father’s Day. While most of the comments we foster and adoptive dads receive are cordial, and respectful, there are always a handful that are not. Here’s a little insight into things you shouldn’t say to foster and adoptive dads on this special day (written, of course, for you to “share” with the people in your life who really don’t get it!) My brother-in-law’s heart probably drained from his chest like melted wax. Had his breath not been taken away by the off-handed comment, he would have found the words to speak, I’m sure. It was his […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJun. 11, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | 5 Reasons I Enjoy Being a Foster Dad

Before  I got married, my future wife had asked me two questions: 1) Would you ever consider becoming an overseas missionary? And 2) Would you ever consider adoption? I said yes to both. What else could I say? I was in love. Little did I know, we would be exploring the idea of adoption a few short years later after the birth of our second son. This led us to become foster parents. Reflecting on the last 9 years, here are the top 5 reasons I love being a foster dad. 1. I enjoy taking part in true and undefiled […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 8, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Our Foster Story

My father is the reason that I started fostering, and it is his memory that makes me dig deep on the tough days and remember why we do this. My Dad was born the second child to a couple late in life. They already had a daughter, a golden child who could do no wrong. To make a very long story short, his parents never wanted him.  Not only that, but they made sure he knew it every single day. Growing up I heard bits and pieces of his story, never a lot at one time. It was obvious that he […]

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