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Category: Foster Parenting

Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 18, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | I Can’t Convince Anyone to Be a Foster Parent

A few years ago, we were scheduled to go onstage at church and talk about our experience as foster parents. We were only three months into this foster care gig…and why wouldn’t we be the perfect couple to speak into a microphone and convince others to follow in our footsteps? When asked, I didn’t realize it would end up being on a morning where everything felt so hard. Our 4 ½-year-old foster son was still wearing diapers. He would hide and poop, despite all our best efforts to potty train and bribe and encourage and incent. He was a trauma […]

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Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 11, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | Fostering is a Family Affair: Thank You for Venturing with Us!

When Joel and I signed our contract to be foster parents through the state of Kentucky, we didn’t realize that we were also signing the names of all of our family members and close friends. Although they did not know it at the time, our decision to do foster care was their decision to do foster care. Though they initially sat before us a little wide-eyed at our decision to open our home for foster care, from the moment our little guy was placed into our arms they have given themselves wholeheartedly as papa, grandma, auntie, uncle, cousin and dear […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 8, 2017

Forgotten Friday | A Mess

Feeling sick all day, along with a rainy evening, meant one thing in my book: grits and eggs for supper. The family gone to church, I decided to cook some up just for me. I put the grits in the microwave (I know, they’re better on the stove…ain’t nobody got time for that) and moved on to beat the eggs. I thought to check the grits 27 seconds too late. They had bubbled over into a sticky, gritty mess. In my clean microwave. And if there is one thing I HATE to clean, it’s the microwave. . Argh. What a […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 4, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | 6 Things To Know About Foster-Adoption

My husband and I entered the world of foster-adopt with a narrow no frame of reference to prepare us. We only wanted to be parents. After infertility and a failed infant adoption, we thought foster-adopt would be the quickest path toward our desire. We knew foster care would be difficult, but we had no idea… no idea just how difficult it would be. There seems to be an overall lack of knowledge in the general public regarding foster care and foster-adopt. This can cause misunderstandings that may seem insignificant to those outside the world of foster-adopt, but to those living […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingSep. 1, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Serving the masses, seeing the one

Our swagger-wagon inched along…no, centimeter-ed along…in a long lineup of cars just one block away from the Disneyland main parking structure. It was 9:00 in the morning and this was only a glimpse of what was in store for us at our destination. Three boys sat in the back, crazy with anticipation for the exciting day ahead. Our foster agency designated this particular Saturday to treat its foster families to a day of family fun and bonding, helping to create lasting, precious memories for children and families impacted by trauma. Why were there SO many people today? After 45 minutes, […]

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Encouragement, Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysAug. 28, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | What About Anger Toward My Child’s Birth Parent?

We talk often about forming positive relationships with birth families. But what do you do when you can’t get past the anger you feel toward them? If you know us, you know we are strong advocates for open adoption. We often write and speak in favor of open relationships with a child’s birth family. In our own family we have regular contact with biological parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and even brothers and sisters. We feel that if it is possible and safe to have an open relationship with a child’s birth family, you should. Often when we talk about respecting […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 25, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Tension.

We often talk of finding the right balance. Eating a balanced diet. Achieving work-life balance. Frankly, I don’t believe in balance. It’s all tension. A teacher once explained how when two things are pulling you in different directions, that’s tension. Not balance. Life and foster care are riddled with tension. Treating my foster child to the chips he knows and loves OR encouraging him to enjoy a healthier palate. Showing him grace when he missteps OR teaching him about consequences. Helping him with his homework OR inviting his independence. The list goes on of course. With both sides having merit. […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysAug. 21, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | Let’s Talk About Family Planning

This is a peek inside the kinds of conversations we have in our family every day. It’s not always comfortable for either of us, but it’s important that we both trust each other enough to be honest. 💙 Mom, do I have to be in adoption. Yeah, buddy, you do. Foster care wasn’t meant to be forever. Can you tell me why you don’t want to be adopted? 💙 I don’t want to be in adoption because I want to live with my first mom. Okay, so living with first mom is plan A. And if plan A is not […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 18, 2017

Forgotten Friday | The Agony of Attaching to Foster Kids

Three weeks after I gave birth to my first child, I sat sobbing in a glider. I was sitting in a nursery where everything was new–cute crib, tiny clothes, fresh baby, new life. And with all of the unfamiliar came a surge of scary emotions. She had been screaming for what seemed like hours and my comfort measures weren’t working. After nursing, hushing, bouncing, walking and changing diapers for this little life, my weary arms still held a screaming baby. I suddenly wanted to throw her out of our second-story window or shake her to stop. I was worn out and I didn’t […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 11, 2017

Forgotten Friday | To his first mommy, on his second birthday

I’m still figuring these birthdays out… …on his sister’s birthday I am overwhelmed with memories and emotions of the day and the miracles that brought her to us ten weeks early. But today, his birthday, feels a little different. I wasn’t there. In fact, I didn’t know he was being born or existed in this world for another six days. I was clueless… It was a Sunday, and I was in Georgia sharing this adorable photo and celebrating my sister’s birthday with my family. The day before I was relishing in a Clemson win over South Carolina… …and the day […]

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