Blog Archives

Category: Foster Parenting

Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Ways to ServeSep. 3, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Sheltered

24 children. All ages 8 and under. Taken from their families, their surroundings, and any and all familiarity they might have. That was the reality for all of these children in our county this week alone. They are sent many times to foster families almost immediately, but there are some that end up in shelters. Why? Because homes are full, the children have more needs than some families can supply, or because they belong to a large sibling group and many people cannot take in 3-5 children at a time. So this is where these precious ones go. What’s a […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 31, 2018

Forgotten Friday | When Wasps Become Butterflies

When I was first born my parents were living on a countryside in rural Missouri. They rented a big, old farm house bordering the Missouri State Penitentiary that had a life of its own, including mushrooms growing from the carpet, a swarm of wasps nesting in the ceiling, an army of ants infesting the downstairs closet and so much dampness that anything made of metal soon rusted…not to mention the bricks that had to be placed under the furniture to correct the uneven floors! My parents were newly married and my father had just taken a job as a minister […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysAug. 27, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Ignorance is bliss.

We’re getting more calls. And quite frankly this is one of the worst parts of foster care. When we hear that a child needs help but then realize that we can’t step in. That we have to say “no.” I know there are dozens of legitimate reasons to say that we can’t accept a placement, a child. Whether practical logistics or emotional restraints stand in the way, it’s far better for everyone for foster parents to know their limits. But somehow reason never seems to resonate with my heart. Partly because I only get to hear the need and never […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 24, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Replacing the Mom I Thought I Would Be with the Mom My Children Need

Replacing The Mom I Thought I Would Be With The Mom My Children Need… This thought has raced through my mind this week. I’ve sat on my bed, saddened, throwing my hands up in the air and thinking, “This is not what it’s supposed to feel like. This is not normal. I want to do normal things with my kids. I want to be able to take them to a late night event without worrying about giving medication or some medication wearing off, or some crazy, impulsive act, or some reaction from an attempt to grow closer.” Following several rough […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysAug. 20, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Warning: You Might Be Dancing the Wrong Dance

Danielle and I took dance lessons several years ago which we both enjoyed. But let me tell you learning how to dance with a partner is very challenging unless you’re just a natural. I am one of those guys who can’t dance very well. I have okay rhythm, but my challenge is sustaining it. So I usually end up doing my own dance which gets me “the look” from Danielle. We learned different dance steps like the Country Two Step and the Triple Two Step. We learned the Waltz and the Jitterbug. When I danced with Danielle (she is a […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 17, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Ladybug

It had been a series of challenging weeks. Those ones full of highly emotional dialogue with no resolution surrounding our family and the future of the children we call our own. The full effect of my compassion fatigue fully set in when I hung up the phone outside of the grocery store back restroom area where I was hiding on yet another important and unplanned call regarding potential upcoming plans for children in my care. A few hours later, my four-year-old daughter found a ladybug in the car on my seat. She was outraged that I had not seen “him” […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysAug. 13, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Why I Love Early Intervention

Are there other moms out there who have been blessed by Early Intervention? It’s been awesome for us. We’ve had three different “types” of therapists over the last three years — physical therapy (PT), speech therapy, and occupational therapy (OT). (Occupational therapy, according to kidshealth.org, helps kids with various needs improve their cognitive, physical, sensory, and motor skills and enhance their self-esteem and sense of accomplishment. I define this because I had to ask when someone suggested it.) In Pennsylvania, Early Intervention is a free service — yes, free — offered through the county that comes to your house — […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 10, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Everyone Has a Story: The Little Boy with No Name

My heart breaks every time I think about this little 8 year old boy who lives at the residential treatment center (RTC) in our community. The majority of the children living at the RTC are in (or have been in) foster care. Most of them have been in and out of up to 7 or 8 foster homes before coming to the RTC where they get 24 hour care in a therapeutic environment. Many of these kids have experienced trauma, abuse, and neglect in more extreme forms then those in traditional foster homes. Some have been in the RTC for […]

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Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, ReunificationAug. 6, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Saying Hello to the Next Goodbye

We lost a baby a week ago. Not to death, but to life. A new life. One without us in it. With one last kiss, my lips sank into his soft cheeks and his life with us was over. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe him in, knowing when I opened them again, the world would look and feel very different. Every minute, every memory thus far was filled with me–with us. I was still his mama for a few more fleeting moments. I opened my eyes and forced out a smile as I passed him back to […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingAug. 3, 2018

Forgotten Friday | How to Parent When Your Child Can’t Live at Home

It’s a trial many parents find themselves in when their child ends up in residential treatment or juvenile detention. How do you continue to be a parent when your child lives somewhere other than home? Twice a week, I visit my son. Twice a week, I sign myself out on a lined piece of paper. Twice a week, I retrieve my belongings from a locked box as a staff member walks me to the door. Twice a week, the door swings shut behind me and as I cross the parking lot. Twice a week, my eyes well up. Twice a […]

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