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Category: Make a Difference Mondays

Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysNov. 19, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | If you have ever…

If you have ever prayed for our foster children… If you have ever babysat our foster children… If you have ever offered anything… If you have ever provided a meal for us when our babies arrive… If you have ever held our foster babies… If you have ever played with our foster children… If you have ever asked how we are doing in our walks with the Lord… If you have ever asked for the name of our new foster placement… If you have ever listened to us tell you about our joys and struggles… If you have ever pointed […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, ReunificationNov. 12, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Loving When You Know You’ll Lose

I laid my sweet boy down in the crib tonight. My shirt was damp from his drool and my left arm was tingling as sensation slowly returned. Seconds earlier, his sleepy head rested heavy in the sweet spot of my mama arm–that place that was made just for a baby’s noggin. As I stood from the rocker, his body was limp…so trusting and so at ease. For the flash of that moment, he was mine. Life felt routine and comfortable. I was just another mom effortlessly dancing to the light music of motherhood. And just like that, the moment was […]

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Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysNov. 5, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | If Your Son or Daughter Is a Foster Parent

I love this picture of my dad and my oldest son sharing a shake when he was just a little guy. We fostered him for close to two years and we all underestimated how deeply we would fall in love. We didn’t know how hard the road would be or how complex feelings are when you want biological parents to succeed; yet, you also want so desperately to hold on to the kiddo that captured your heart. It was close to two years before we were declared his (legal) family and on that day, our entire family exhaled a collective […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysOct. 29, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Will My Husband Ever Be on the Same Page as Me with Adoption?

It’s not always the case, but often, men can be the toughest nut to crack when it comes to the adoption journey. I know from personal experience. There are a few reasons why this happens, and some key steps you can take to eventually arrive at the same place with him on this journey. Back in the day, before we got married, I said no to just about everything. In fact, if shaking my head was an Olympic sport, I would have taken the gold. I was such a difficult person to get along with in those days. One of […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysOct. 22, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Can I ask you something? (Part 4)

Where are you on adoption? Honestly, we’re exactly where we were the last time you asked. The government moves at its own plodding pace; we just have to be patient (and it’s not always easy). In some ways, I think it’s been good for L. to have more time to process his adoption. In other ways, the drawn-out transition has been hard on both of us. Of course, once things are finalized, we’re going to Disney World, and that can’t happen soon enough for either of us! When can you say what happened to him/show his face/share his full name? […]

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Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Prayer, Reunification, Vulnerable ParentsOct. 15, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Finding Joy in the Little Things

Something about babies always makes people smile. Their supposed innocence, adorable baby rolls, toothless grins, contagious laughter, and the freshness of their smooth skin and simple being all in one miniature person. Joy. Smiles. Perfect strangers will reach out and touch (and even kiss) babies they have never seen before. Once, I had even witnessed a stranger sit herself down at the table with Baby S and her birth mom to start a conversation. What makes that ok? Somehow, personal space doesn’t exist for babies. As I sit at yet another birth parent visit in a quiet mall food court […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysOct. 8, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Would you still love me if…?

Almost 11 years ago, I was told that I had HIV. *** As an unemployed, broke college student looking for an easy way to make cash, I thought that donating plasma would be just the thing to put a little change in my pockets. So, I headed off to the plasma donation center. The process went smoothly, and I left thinking that perhaps I could become a regular plasma donor in lieu of finding a “real” job. The girl at the front desk did remind me that the center would call me after completing some testing to ensure that I was […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysOct. 1, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | I love you, too.

Before foster parenting, I can’t remember a time when I said “I love you” and it wasn’t returned. When there wasn’t an immediate expression of similar affection. An “I love you, too.” But in foster care, I am learning love isn’t so simple or so easy. Kids already have parents they love. And the love they know often looks different than the love I have been shown. But no matter what it looks like, it is still love and it is still theirs to keep. Some kids ache to go back to a love I don’t understand. Others see their […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 24, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | 5 Reasons Foster Parents Need to Attach to their Foster Child

You bring a child or sibling group into your home for who knows how long. You don’t know very much about them. You work at creating as much calm as you can in the midst of a new normal for everyone. Parent visits, school work, possibly counselor visits, and behavioral challenges make the transition challenging. You focus on providing as much as care and support as you can for your new foster child. Yet at the same time, you guard your heart. If you have had much training, you know that your new foster child will come with some attachment struggles. But […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 17, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Everyone Has a Story: Heartbreak and Hope, Part 2

(To read part one, click here) “She changed her mind.” I couldn’t believe it. I knew that this was so very common in domestic adoptions and yet, in this case, baby boy would immediately be put into the foster care system, and his mom did not want this. She had shared this with me before, yet she changed her mind. And her decision was final. I looked over at my friends who were standing outside the nursery. With so many emotions in my heart and tears in my eyes, I slowly walked to them and told them that it seemed like […]

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