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Category: Make a Difference Mondays

Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJul. 16, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Let Us Stop the Talk and Do Something

I get so discouraged when I hear Christians bash others and talk about all the problems we face in the world, but don’t seem to really do much more than talk. I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but now I pray that He will guide me to do whatever I’m supposed to do. I used to pray for answers, but now I’m praying for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things. –Mother Teresa God has called my […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, ReunificationJul. 9, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | How to Support Reunification, Even if You Don’t Want to

If you are a foster parent, you know the word “reunification” comes up a lot. As it now stands, there is a federal law that mandates courts and child welfare agencies to work towards reunification with a biological parent upon children entering care. The law gives fifteen out of twenty-two months for efforts to rectify the reason that children entered care and to assure safety once placed back in the home. People often say, “I could never foster because I could not give the children back.” This is a reasonable response, but it is possible to support the reunification process […]

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Make a Difference MondaysJul. 2, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Happy Birthday America. I Love You.

I write letters to my children on their birthdays. The letters allow me to dote on who they are, document milestones of who they have become, laugh at my own failings as a parent, and write down my own perspective of this particular season of their life. I gather recent photos and include those as well. Most importantly, I write a prayer for the year to come and their future in general. I began this birthday letter writing tradition as soon as we brought our oldest home from the hospital in 2011. I have since written 16 such notes and […]

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Caseworker, Encouragement, Foster Care Workers, Make a Difference MondaysJun. 25, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Grace for the Agency Workers

I was painfully aware of my tardiness as I knocked on the door of an enthusiastic couple waiting for me to fulfil my role in their adoption licensing process. I internally felt the sting of how arriving nineteen minutes late to this home reflected on the entire agency and process and prayed that this would not leave a lasting negative perception regarding how my agency values the time of foster and adoptive homes. Then I realized that the reality is I would not be the last person late to their home. Quickly I was reminded of my own frustration as […]

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Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJun. 18, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Two journeys.

I haven’t written about this for a few reasons, but mainly because I don’t want it to be a distraction. Foster care isn’t about our infertility. It has never been. We didn’t start fostering because we were infertile. Back then, we didn’t even know. But in recent months, we’ve acknowledged the obvious: We aren’t having kids biologically. It’s sad and hard. But knowing hasn’t changed our reasons for fostering. Quite the opposite. Infertility can make fostering much more difficult. And vice versa. We desire to grow our family. But we desire more to love well the kids who come into our home. And so […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJun. 11, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | 5 Reasons I Enjoy Being a Foster Dad

Before  I got married, my future wife had asked me two questions: 1) Would you ever consider becoming an overseas missionary? And 2) Would you ever consider adoption? I said yes to both. What else could I say? I was in love. Little did I know, we would be exploring the idea of adoption a few short years later after the birth of our second son. This led us to become foster parents. Reflecting on the last 9 years, here are the top 5 reasons I love being a foster dad. 1. I enjoy taking part in true and undefiled […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJun. 4, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Smells Like Progress

At the end of the day today, my hands smelled like both water balloons and poop. Ok, let me back up a bit. Foster parenting is like any other ministry. Sometimes you have good days. Sometimes you have bad days. Don’t get me wrong, the bad days are hard, but do you know what’s even harder than the bad days? The mixed ones. They’re the ones where you feel like you’ve been connecting and having fun and making progress together. You really think you’re getting your feet under you, and then out of nowhere, something takes you down like a […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysMay. 28, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | How to Encourage Without Undermining Their Story

After being surrounded by broken stories for so many years, it’s easy to become numb to the awful tragedies that have occurred. You start “getting used to” how hard it must be, and how hard kids must fight just to get through another day. I am ashamed at how much I’ve done that. It should, in fact, be the exact opposite. The more you get to know the faces of the children in foster care, the more you start to see how beautiful and unique they are. It’s true. While many stories are broken, ALL of them are special. None […]

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Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, ReunificationMay. 21, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Yesterday’s Gone

After court yesterday, I didn’t want to go home. Not in a dramatic way, but I wanted to be out in nature and surrounded by people. So first we walked in a park, then we went shopping. My husband had our two youngest in the cart, and something distracted me, so I wandered off. My littlest didn’t, of course, understand that his life had been dramatically altered by a man’s word just hours before. He doesn’t know that in a few days, he’s leaving forever the only home he’s ever known in his 29 months of life: 872 days and […]

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Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysMay. 14, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Do you trust me?

“There’s a climbing tree in the front yard,” L. said as we drove past the for sale sign. “We should probably live there.” Two weeks after L.’s adoption was finalized, I put in an offer on the house with the climbing tree. (You know, because I get bored easily, and I needed something else to do.) L. was thrilled and excitedly discussed his plans for an American Ninja Warrior course in the backyard. But a few days later as I drove him to school, he said, “Mom, I’m kind of going back and forth on feeling excited about the house.” […]

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