Blog Archives

Category: Make a Difference Mondays

Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysDec. 31, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Be Bold (Let Your Light Shine)

I wish I could tell you that it is “easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy” (as my 5-yr-old likes to say) to parent children who have been adopted or to be a foster parent. I’d love to say that once a child enters your home either for foster care or adoption, all problems go away and it’s just downhill and smooth sailing from there. It would be fantastic for me to declare that I never second guess myself and that we are all about lollipops, rainbows, and laughter. However, if I were to say any of these things, my words would be false. They would […]

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Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Vulnerable ParentsDec. 24, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Second chances: The heart of Christmas and loving the birth parents

The tears that brimmed my eyes surprised me as I thought of my beautiful Baby S beginning her unsupervised longer visits with her birth parents and extended family members. I rejoiced that I no longer had to sit at a food court in the mall for hours, but I actually enjoyed that alone time reading, writing, praying, or even visiting with friends. A friendship also bloomed between the birth parents and me as we saw each other so often and had many opportunities to chat. Birth mom began confiding in me. How sweet that God would provide this special relationship […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysDec. 17, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Hello.

We’re on the no-call list. After our last placement we told our licensing worker we needed a long break. To rest and to heal ourselves before we might be ready to care for a hurting child. But last week, she called anyway. Two precious sisters needed a home, a bed, a safe place. We have that. And in this season of celebrating Jesus who was born without a home, it seemed fitting to share our abundance. And so, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Even amid the yeses, I have a hundred questions and a thousand more that I’m forgetting to ask. […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysDec. 10, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | On Offering Compassion and Doing Justice When I’m Afraid.

In this journey there is a constant testing that has brought me to tears, to clenched fists with exasperation, and to my knees. The process of writing is a friend to me. It takes me by the hand and helps me relate to the emotion that swells within and looms large in me. What begins in her has so much to teach me. Wounds that may be invisible to many are constantly present. But God is gracious in gently calling us all toward healing. He does not force, He beckons. She asks again and again with her words and behavior, “can […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysDec. 3, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | 5 Insightful Suggestions to Help You Father Well

I recently began a podcast series entitled Dad to Dad. In these interviews I sit down with another adoptive dad and talk about what it is like to be an adoptive dad—our shortcomings, funny stories, and what we find that helps us to father well. Recently I interviewed Marshall Lyles (if you missed it, you can get it HERE), and I asked Marshall this question—What helps you to father well? Marshall shared four very insightful ideas that help him, and I add one more. Even though Marshall and I talk about being adoptive dads, these suggestions are helpful for every […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysNov. 26, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | 8 Common Myths About Foster Care Dispelled

For years, foster care has been misunderstood, unfairly judged, criticized through local media and television shows, and the subject of harsh headlines. It’s time to set the record straight… We spent 9 years in the foster care system, as care-givers to more than 23 children. Six of those children never left our care and became a permanent part of our family from 2008 until 2012. Our years in the system were trying but also filled with lots of beautiful moments. Thankfully we made it a point to live with as much peace as possible. As a result, we still have […]

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Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysNov. 19, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | If you have ever…

If you have ever prayed for our foster children… If you have ever babysat our foster children… If you have ever offered anything… If you have ever provided a meal for us when our babies arrive… If you have ever held our foster babies… If you have ever played with our foster children… If you have ever asked how we are doing in our walks with the Lord… If you have ever asked for the name of our new foster placement… If you have ever listened to us tell you about our joys and struggles… If you have ever pointed […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, ReunificationNov. 12, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Loving When You Know You’ll Lose

I laid my sweet boy down in the crib tonight. My shirt was damp from his drool and my left arm was tingling as sensation slowly returned. Seconds earlier, his sleepy head rested heavy in the sweet spot of my mama arm–that place that was made just for a baby’s noggin. As I stood from the rocker, his body was limp…so trusting and so at ease. For the flash of that moment, he was mine. Life felt routine and comfortable. I was just another mom effortlessly dancing to the light music of motherhood. And just like that, the moment was […]

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Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysNov. 5, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | If Your Son or Daughter Is a Foster Parent

I love this picture of my dad and my oldest son sharing a shake when he was just a little guy. We fostered him for close to two years and we all underestimated how deeply we would fall in love. We didn’t know how hard the road would be or how complex feelings are when you want biological parents to succeed; yet, you also want so desperately to hold on to the kiddo that captured your heart. It was close to two years before we were declared his (legal) family and on that day, our entire family exhaled a collective […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysOct. 29, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Will My Husband Ever Be on the Same Page as Me with Adoption?

It’s not always the case, but often, men can be the toughest nut to crack when it comes to the adoption journey. I know from personal experience. There are a few reasons why this happens, and some key steps you can take to eventually arrive at the same place with him on this journey. Back in the day, before we got married, I said no to just about everything. In fact, if shaking my head was an Olympic sport, I would have taken the gold. I was such a difficult person to get along with in those days. One of […]

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