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Category: Make a Difference Mondays

Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJun. 4, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Smells Like Progress

At the end of the day today, my hands smelled like both water balloons and poop. Ok, let me back up a bit. Foster parenting is like any other ministry. Sometimes you have good days. Sometimes you have bad days. Don’t get me wrong, the bad days are hard, but do you know what’s even harder than the bad days? The mixed ones. They’re the ones where you feel like you’ve been connecting and having fun and making progress together. You really think you’re getting your feet under you, and then out of nowhere, something takes you down like a […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysMay. 28, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | How to Encourage Without Undermining Their Story

After being surrounded by broken stories for so many years, it’s easy to become numb to the awful tragedies that have occurred. You start “getting used to” how hard it must be, and how hard kids must fight just to get through another day. I am ashamed at how much I’ve done that. It should, in fact, be the exact opposite. The more you get to know the faces of the children in foster care, the more you start to see how beautiful and unique they are. It’s true. While many stories are broken, ALL of them are special. None […]

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Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, ReunificationMay. 21, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Yesterday’s Gone

After court yesterday, I didn’t want to go home. Not in a dramatic way, but I wanted to be out in nature and surrounded by people. So first we walked in a park, then we went shopping. My husband had our two youngest in the cart, and something distracted me, so I wandered off. My littlest didn’t, of course, understand that his life had been dramatically altered by a man’s word just hours before. He doesn’t know that in a few days, he’s leaving forever the only home he’s ever known in his 29 months of life: 872 days and […]

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Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysMay. 14, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Do you trust me?

“There’s a climbing tree in the front yard,” L. said as we drove past the for sale sign. “We should probably live there.” Two weeks after L.’s adoption was finalized, I put in an offer on the house with the climbing tree. (You know, because I get bored easily, and I needed something else to do.) L. was thrilled and excitedly discussed his plans for an American Ninja Warrior course in the backyard. But a few days later as I drove him to school, he said, “Mom, I’m kind of going back and forth on feeling excited about the house.” […]

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Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysMay. 7, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Nine on My Mind

See that sweetie right there? That’s my daughter before she came to live with us. Her first foster mama sent us the picture after it was decided that we would be her new home. They loved her dearly but made the decision that they could not be a long term home for her (in case she needed one), so we were called. I remember it so vividly. As I was sitting in the parking lot of Goodwill (which is a bit ironic), my phone rang. I saw the number and knew it was our state’s child protection services calling. My […]

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Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysApr. 30, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Appointments with an Entourage: Medical Care and Foster Care

When it comes to medical care, foster parents operate in a strange sphere—a kind of medical no man’s land! Because I have two biological kids, I was accustomed to a fairly standard procedure when it came to the seeing the doctor. When they were sick or needed a well-check, I’d call ahead to the doctor to schedule and appointment. On the day of, we’d check in, show an insurance card, see the doctor, pay a co-pay, and come home with a sticker (sometimes multiple stickers). It was pretty standard. Now that I’m a foster parent, the relative simplicity of those […]

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Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysApr. 23, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Terrible, Good, & Hard

There is this story we are living, and we don’t know much of the beginning. And yet, we were invited in and with uncertainty stepped into it all and were asked “will we trust as the pages unfold?” We were asked over and over again “will we love without holding tightly to outcome?” “Will we lay down control?” (because ultimately, we realize we only lose sight of Him when we scramble and grasp for it). We have wanted to give up so many times and have felt so many good and horrible emotions; selfish anger, mourning and deep lament at […]

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Adoption, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysApr. 16, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | What I Really Want to Say to Little Man’s Birth Mom

Little man was born on July 24, 2013, and was placed with us on August 1, 2013. He spent his first week in the NICU going through withdrawal and wanted to be held all the time once we had him in our arms. We had no contact with the birth parents until the first mediation meeting that was held December 19, 2013, to discuss the surrender of his half-sibling for adoption with another foster family. I will never forget the first time I laid on eyes on the birth parents–or the emotions that went through me. For a few weeks, […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Ways to ServeApr. 9, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | 5 Areas of Need in Foster Care and Adoption

Have you considered what need in foster care or adoption you can meet? Or are you like I was a few years ago? I really had no idea of what foster care really was. And my thoughts about adoption completely focused on me and my wish to have a child of my own. I naively thought that if I weren’t interested in fostering or adopting then it was of no concern to me. I had a shallow understanding of the needs of foster care and adoption. If you don’t intend on meeting a need of foster care and adoption, you […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Family Support, Make a Difference MondaysApr. 2, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Taking Care of Roots {a little lesson with my daughter}

My daughter came home from school this past week and said, “Mom, we played foster care at school today.” She then said, “I was the foster child and I had two moms.” I told her that sounded fun and interesting. We went on with the rest of the day and she didn’t mention it again. I thought about this conversation the remainder of the week. My daughter is very smart, willful and can be extremely challenging. She walks to the beat of her own drum and is fierce in so many ways. However, it seems that the older she gets, […]

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