Blog Archives

Category: Vulnerable Parents

Advocacy, Forgotten Fridays, Vulnerable ParentsJan. 12, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Connections in Care

I met my first birth mom four years ago. I remember the drive, the feelings and her face. I got her little girl dressed, drove to the mall and unloaded the car with nervous hands and an even shakier heart. As I rounded the corner of the playground where our first meeting was set to take place, I felt my own insecurity surging unsteadily. I was met with emotions that had never even grazed the borders of my mama heart. I watched her face light up as she saw her baby again. She became, in that moment, just another mama. […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsSep. 29, 2017

Forgotten Friday | The War Within the Walls of My Heart

We share a son–we don’t really, but we do. You gave him life, I’m giving him living. This wasn’t the way any of this was meant to be. He was formed inside of you and birthed into your arms. Then he came home from the sterile walls of the hospital to mine. You were so deep into your addiction that you couldn’t choose the very thing that could free you from it all. You couldn’t choose him. So I did. And with that choosing came unexpected encounters with the deepest places of my heart. People have said things about you […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Vulnerable ParentsJul. 3, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | Liberty — part one

The roads of the small town would’ve been saturated with plump pumpkins, hay bales, and corn husk figures on that day in late October 2010–intersections and front yards plastered with signs advertising Fall Festivals for chili-cook offs, costume contests, and children’s inflatables, as the crisp air wafted cotton candy and caramel apples. The woman was likely surrounded by her two young sons, their hearts bursting with excitement, as they awaited the birth of their infant sister. She probably labored in the conventional blue-dotted gown, her bottle-blonde hair perhaps pulled back loosely into a ponytail. Life is ironic. No coincidences or […]

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Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsJun. 2, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Bio mom.

We all come to the table with ideas, assumptions and prejudices. Whether we like it or not. When I met my foster son’s biological mother nine months ago, I stood back. Stayed back intentionally. Fears and questions filled my head and my heart. Allowing polite civility but not warm friendship. I was cautious. ​Time changes things though. And time has changed me and changed our relationship. Now, we go in for a hug after she has a visit with Big D. I don’t block my number on days we call her to check in. And when she asks me to […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Reunification, Vulnerable ParentsMar. 3, 2017

Forgotten Friday | The Ache of a Mom Heart

Parenting is hard no matter how you approach it, but there are a lot of things that biological parents take for granted—like knowing your child’s full history. The state gives you all the information they have, but sometimes information is scarce, and you have to become your own private detective. You study your child for clues about their past. You look for trigger situations. You have to figure out if they have any allergies or major food aversions or favorite traditions. Sometimes you have to go hunting, too. Since so much of life is lived online these days, you actually […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsDec. 2, 2016

Forgotten Friday | 3 Reasons Not to Vilify My Kid’s Birth Mother

There’s often an assumption that since our children are adopted, or have been adopted from the foster care system, their birth mothers must be bad people, or have done some really bad stuff. The truth is, this is an unfair assumption to make about a human being. We’ve often wondered how someone, who knows very little about our children, their story, or their birth mother’s story, can point a finger and judge. It’s not in our DNA to do this to any human being. Certainly not the person who gave our children life. We believe birth mom’s should never be vilified. Here […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsNov. 18, 2016

Forgotten Friday | Nine Months In

This week marks nine months of caring for our foster son. Nine. Months. …and it just occurred to me: we have cared for him for as long as she carried him. Maybe that’s why she called this week after so long. Maybe she’s grieving, maybe she’s missing him a little extra as she sits on the gravity of what happened nine months ago. Half of his life he was with her more intimately than he will ever be with me. I’ll never feel his kicks and hiccups or see my body growing as he grows inside of me. He was […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Vulnerable ParentsOct. 24, 2016

Make a Difference Monday | I Hope I’m Your Rock Bottom

I held your baby tonight. She was sick. Fever raging. Through her tears, she was mumbling but I couldn’t understand what she needed because toddlerspeak isn’t easy to decode for the not-the-mama. She’s only been in my arms for a short time, so I’m still learning her. Her warm head rested on my chest. I shared her air. Her soft curls brushed against my lips as I gently kissed her forehead. My hand rested on her back affirming her safety in the cradle of my arms. I imagined her thoughts. Was she hoping for your hold instead of mine? Was she […]

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Adoption, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Vulnerable ParentsOct. 3, 2016

Make a Difference Monday | To the mama who made the greatest sacrifice…

Dear Mama, I remember the first time I hugged your neck like it was yesterday. It was a little over a year ago, the first time you met the strangers who were taking care of your son. Chris and I waited anxiously at the agency for your arrival, not knowing how you would respond to us or the situation. I remember these moments so well because they were so very impactful. You met us with grace that day. You thanked us for taking care of your precious boy and you showed gratitude that we were hand chosen by God to […]

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Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Uncategorized, Vulnerable ParentsSep. 16, 2016

Forgotten Friday | The Cause of Foster Children

I worked a booth for recruiting foster families at a local convention this weekend. To be honest, while the time I was there, I can count on one hand the number of folks who actually engaged me in conversation about the need for foster homes in our communities. I get it. Foster parenting is certainly not for the faint of heart, but I found myself considering why it is important for Christians to step into the world of abuse and neglect. The thought, “If Christians do not take up the cause of foster children and pray for them, then who […]

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