Blog Archives

Category: Vulnerable Parents

Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsOct. 26, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Walking Through Adoption Loss

While driving to Red Robin on a date with my 9-year-old, I could tell he wasn’t his jolly self. I couldn’t quite read his expression and for fear of driving off the road while trying, I determined to wait until we stopped. It was then that I could get a good look into his eyes. “What’s wrong, buddy?” I asked. You see, we had been discussing adoption and his birth parents a little bit before. He looked away, leaned into the side of the car and the tears spilled out. Adoption starts with loss. This child came to us as […]

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Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Prayer, Reunification, Vulnerable ParentsOct. 15, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Finding Joy in the Little Things

Something about babies always makes people smile. Their supposed innocence, adorable baby rolls, toothless grins, contagious laughter, and the freshness of their smooth skin and simple being all in one miniature person. Joy. Smiles. Perfect strangers will reach out and touch (and even kiss) babies they have never seen before. Once, I had even witnessed a stranger sit herself down at the table with Baby S and her birth mom to start a conversation. What makes that ok? Somehow, personal space doesn’t exist for babies. As I sit at yet another birth parent visit in a quiet mall food court […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsOct. 5, 2018

Forgotten Friday | It’s Been a Long Time, Birth Mother

It’s been a long time, birth mother. Today marks the tenth anniversary of the adoption of our son; yet, in many ways, it feels like it was just yesterday. I often think back to when you and I were taking turns rocking him during visits. Is this what other mothers formed through adoption think about? Is this how other mothers formed through adoption feel? In many ways, we are stuck in those first moments when little souls entered our lives. In other ways, we feel far away from those moments. To look back through this past decade, I still fondly […]

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Advocacy, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Vulnerable ParentsMar. 5, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | If Only You Knew

I feel your heavy stares as I pull out my government issued benefits card to pay for the few groceries I have in my cart full of home goods and clothes. I know what you’re thinking, “This is what’s wrong with America!” We give food stamps and welfare to people who use and abuse the system, just like you assumed I was doing. My cart wasn’t filled with necessities to feed my family, it wasn’t overflowing with diapers, wipes, and formula, so you must have thought that I was working the system, taking the hard earned tax payers’ dollars and […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsFeb. 9, 2018

Forgotten Friday | When the Church Loves the Vulnerable

I remember when the Lord first opened my eyes to the foster care world. It was November 2009 and my heart broke as I watched a video of a 6-year-old girl who was waiting for a foster home to be found for her. The worker sat with her and made multiple phone calls to potential foster parents and each one said no for one reason or another. My husband and I were in our own waiting season during that time and had also been facing multiple rejections. God used that moment, that experience, to awaken me to something I had […]

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Advocacy, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsJan. 19, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Birth Parents Are Not the Enemy

I’ll never forget the first phone call we shared. She was very nervous and so was I. She had her stereotypes of folks like me and I had mine of folks like her, but when our lives suddenly collided, everything changed. “Hi Sandra*. I’m Jami.” (*name changed for privacy) Just a few days earlier, I was pacing the floor. I was nervous, excited and clueless about the craziness we were about to step into. When the caseworker pulled up, I ran out to the car and for the first time saw, Dayd (3 yrs) and Bobby (7 mo). Oh Dayd, […]

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Advocacy, Forgotten Fridays, Vulnerable ParentsJan. 12, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Connections in Care

I met my first birth mom four years ago. I remember the drive, the feelings and her face. I got her little girl dressed, drove to the mall and unloaded the car with nervous hands and an even shakier heart. As I rounded the corner of the playground where our first meeting was set to take place, I felt my own insecurity surging unsteadily. I was met with emotions that had never even grazed the borders of my mama heart. I watched her face light up as she saw her baby again. She became, in that moment, just another mama. […]

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Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsSep. 29, 2017

Forgotten Friday | The War Within the Walls of My Heart

We share a son–we don’t really, but we do. You gave him life, I’m giving him living. This wasn’t the way any of this was meant to be. He was formed inside of you and birthed into your arms. Then he came home from the sterile walls of the hospital to mine. You were so deep into your addiction that you couldn’t choose the very thing that could free you from it all. You couldn’t choose him. So I did. And with that choosing came unexpected encounters with the deepest places of my heart. People have said things about you […]

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Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference Mondays, Vulnerable ParentsJul. 3, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | Liberty — part one

The roads of the small town would’ve been saturated with plump pumpkins, hay bales, and corn husk figures on that day in late October 2010–intersections and front yards plastered with signs advertising Fall Festivals for chili-cook offs, costume contests, and children’s inflatables, as the crisp air wafted cotton candy and caramel apples. The woman was likely surrounded by her two young sons, their hearts bursting with excitement, as they awaited the birth of their infant sister. She probably labored in the conventional blue-dotted gown, her bottle-blonde hair perhaps pulled back loosely into a ponytail. Life is ironic. No coincidences or […]

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Family Support, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsJun. 2, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Bio mom.

We all come to the table with ideas, assumptions and prejudices. Whether we like it or not. When I met my foster son’s biological mother nine months ago, I stood back. Stayed back intentionally. Fears and questions filled my head and my heart. Allowing polite civility but not warm friendship. I was cautious. ​Time changes things though. And time has changed me and changed our relationship. Now, we go in for a hug after she has a visit with Big D. I don’t block my number on days we call her to check in. And when she asks me to […]

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