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Adoption, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 30, 2018

Forgotten Friday | This Gift Called Adoption

Nearly 12 years ago, I was a young mom of one. Paige, still an infant, was lying on my bed while I folded laundry and listened to a radio interview of an adoptive family sharing their story. I felt a tug in my spirit and fear gripped my heart. “Oh Lord, I hope you are not trying to tell me something.” Adoption scared me. It was unknown. It was not my dream. It was not my plan…well, unless we couldn’t have biological children. That’s what we said at least. But God. Slowly, we became more aware of this thing called […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 23, 2018

Forgotten Friday | A Hasty Decision and the Next Big Thing

October 2015. 10:20 p.m. The baby monitor lights up as I’m finally crawling into bed next to my husband. I try to ignore its red flashes. I only put her down an hour ago. How is this happening already? I try telling myself that she’s just having a bad dream, that she’ll calm herself down and go back to sleep. I know she won’t. Her sleep is becoming more fitful each evening. As her cries continue, I carry my pillow and blanket down the hall and camp out beside her crib for what feels like the hundredth night in a […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingNov. 16, 2018

Forgotten Friday | From Orphan to Co-Heir

There is a type of adoption, a compassionate offering, where a mom chooses something different for her child. She places her baby in the loving care of another family, wrapped in a prayer of hope for the future. I have witnessed this up close, in the life of a dear friend, and there are few things more selfless and beautiful. Sometimes the brokenness of divorce leads to adoption. A blending of families creates the opportunity for step-parents to love and raise children as their “own.” I have experienced this and am very thankful for those relationships. Out of God’s great […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysOct. 29, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Will My Husband Ever Be on the Same Page as Me with Adoption?

It’s not always the case, but often, men can be the toughest nut to crack when it comes to the adoption journey. I know from personal experience. There are a few reasons why this happens, and some key steps you can take to eventually arrive at the same place with him on this journey. Back in the day, before we got married, I said no to just about everything. In fact, if shaking my head was an Olympic sport, I would have taken the gold. I was such a difficult person to get along with in those days. One of […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsOct. 26, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Walking Through Adoption Loss

While driving to Red Robin on a date with my 9-year-old, I could tell he wasn’t his jolly self. I couldn’t quite read his expression and for fear of driving off the road while trying, I determined to wait until we stopped. It was then that I could get a good look into his eyes. “What’s wrong, buddy?” I asked. You see, we had been discussing adoption and his birth parents a little bit before. He looked away, leaned into the side of the car and the tears spilled out. Adoption starts with loss. This child came to us as […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysOct. 22, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Can I ask you something? (Part 4)

Where are you on adoption? Honestly, we’re exactly where we were the last time you asked. The government moves at its own plodding pace; we just have to be patient (and it’s not always easy). In some ways, I think it’s been good for L. to have more time to process his adoption. In other ways, the drawn-out transition has been hard on both of us. Of course, once things are finalized, we’re going to Disney World, and that can’t happen soon enough for either of us! When can you say what happened to him/show his face/share his full name? […]

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Adoption, Encouragement, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysSep. 17, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Everyone Has a Story: Heartbreak and Hope, Part 2

(To read part one, click here) “She changed her mind.” I couldn’t believe it. I knew that this was so very common in domestic adoptions and yet, in this case, baby boy would immediately be put into the foster care system, and his mom did not want this. She had shared this with me before, yet she changed her mind. And her decision was final. I looked over at my friends who were standing outside the nursery. With so many emotions in my heart and tears in my eyes, I slowly walked to them and told them that it seemed like […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 15, 2018

Forgotten Friday | 7 Things You Should Never Say to Foster or Adoptive Dads on Father’s Day

This coming Sunday is Father’s Day. While most of the comments we foster and adoptive dads receive are cordial, and respectful, there are always a handful that are not. Here’s a little insight into things you shouldn’t say to foster and adoptive dads on this special day (written, of course, for you to “share” with the people in your life who really don’t get it!) My brother-in-law’s heart probably drained from his chest like melted wax. Had his breath not been taken away by the off-handed comment, he would have found the words to speak, I’m sure. It was his […]

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Adoption, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJun. 1, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Making a Lifetime Commitment to Your Adopted Child

Too many children have lost their “forever family” when they were placed back into the system by their adoptive family. During my years working as a frontline case manager for children in state custody, I was appalled at the numbers of kids on my caseload, and fellow staff members’ caseloads, who had been adopted years prior and then were placed back into the system by their adoptive family. This is an unfortunate, almost unbelievable reality for too many children who were promised their “forever” home and had to learn the hard way that forever does not always mean what it […]

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Adoption, Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Make a Difference MondaysJan. 8, 2018

Make a Difference Monday | Why Foster Care Matters

I haven’t written much about our foster journey lately. Partly because there isn’t much new to report with S’s case, and partly because we just want to forget that S isn’t our biological child and move on with our lives as a family of five. However, we all know that this is not how the real world works. After a fantastic vacation to Disney where not one person asked us if S was our biological child (bliss!) we were right back to reality with doctor appointments and case worker visits. Even though we are working towards adoption with S, my […]

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