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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMay. 26, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Taking A Closer Look at Empowerment–A TBRI Principle

Do you get the idea that it’s good to empower your child, but struggle with exactly how to do it? How do you find that balance of empowering yet remaining in control? Trust-Based Relational Intervention, or TBRI, is becoming the standard for connected parenting. Schools, Child Protective Services, counselors, parents, and others recognize this and are applying these principles in their work and families. I posted a blog a couple of years ago, “Three Principles of Trust-Based Relational Intervention,” that still gets a lot of traffic. Basically, the three principles are Empowerment, Connection, and Correction. If you want a quick […]

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The Forgotten PodcastMay. 22, 2017

Season 3, Episode 1 | Helping Your Foster and Adoptive Kids Tell Their Story

Many foster and adoptive parents are unsure of the best strategy regarding when and how much information to tell a child about their background, or their “story.” As adults, we need to initiate the conversation. It’s our job to tell, not their job to ask. –Jayne Schooler Talking with kids about their story Tapestry Books provides some excellent resources to help start discussions, and these discussions need to start early. According to Jayne, “Adoptive and foster parents and their children need to become comfortable with the topic very early—when the children are toddlers.” Of course, the child’s story should be told […]

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The Forgotten PodcastApr. 24, 2017

Season 2, Episode 12 | Trauma: How You Can Help Your Child and Family Survive

Sometimes parents feel like they’ve done it wrong—but they need to give themselves so much grace. They are responding to a history they did not create. –Jenn Ranter Jenn Ranter is a therapist who has specialized in working with children in foster care who have experienced trauma. After working with kids and seeing how their foster parents, who wanted to help and were doing the best they could, she realized that they were not well supported and often became isolated because of fears regarding how their kids would act or react in certain situations. This caused them to feel even […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingApr. 21, 2017

Forgotten Friday | 7 Ways You Are Making Parenting a Foster or Adopted Child Hard

Parenting might be the hardest thing in the world. And if you bring a child into your home who isn’t your biological child and is dealing with all kinds of wounds, you just raised the bar. Many times we enter into a relationship with a wounded child and think that we can parent them just like we do or would parent a biological child. It simply isn’t true. I know some foster or adoptive parents don’t deal with challenges with the children that they have brought into their home. However, most do. And about the time you think you have […]

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The Forgotten PodcastApr. 10, 2017

Season 2, Episode 11 | Through the Eyes of an Investigator—Working to Protect Children

My job and my role is to ensure kids’ safety, and that is my goal every time I walk out of my door, knock on a door or sit in someone’s living room. — Molly Evans Molly Evans knew working with kids was what made her heart beat with excitement and purpose. In college, she interned in a DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) office and took a class in child welfare that solidified her goal of working with families and one-on-one with kids. After college, she worked at a private agency as a Family Enhancement worker, helping intact families […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Education, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingMar. 31, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Are You Afraid of Your Child’s Big Emotions?

The first few years of our marriage I didn’t attune well to my wife’s emotions—especially when she got excited about something. As an expressive person, she jumped, laughed, ran around, and screamed with excitement—all while I stood with a simple smile on my face and would say, “That’s great honey.” That response, or lack thereof, always threw a wet blanket on her excitement. I definitely wasn’t attuned to her emotions. Then we got a little guy who also has big emotions. Some of this is his personality, no doubt. But most kids from a hard place come to us with […]

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Children in Foster Care, Encouragement, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJan. 27, 2017

Forgotten Friday | The Night My Son Finally Woke Me Up

photo credit: The Full Moon of Glen Ellyn via photopin (license) I was somewhere in between that deep sleep of the deprived and the alert sleep of the maternal. I lay there silently and I couldn’t remember the last time I had slept through the night. I heard it again. A quiet, faint “mom.” Over and over. Several times to the point that I sat up in bed. Just the fact that he’s calling me “mom” is a wonderment. For the longest of times, I was a stranger and then a familiar, safe person. I was a caretaker and then […]

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Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster ParentingJan. 13, 2017

Forgotten Friday | Their Hearts Matter

“Guard your heart,” they said. I almost bought into it too… …and I understand where they’re coming from. Protect my heart. It’s the only way. Love half-way so that my heart can’t break. If I don’t let myself love this guy with all the love in my heart, there is less of a chance that I’ll hurt in the end. I know they’re just worried about us, worried that our hearts will break. They love us, they don’t want to see us in pain. This little man who we have fallen so deep for… To think about him leaving… is […]

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Will You Pray WednesdayJan. 11, 2017

Will You Pray? | Myths and Misconceptions About Children in Foster Care

Welcome to 2017! We are honored that you join us every month to pray specifically for various topics related to foster care! Your prayers are invaluable to us–thank you so much for bringing the needs of TFI and the foster care system in general to our Omniscient, Omnipresent and Outrageously loving God! Do you, at times, find yourself wondering who the children in foster care are? What they look like? How they came to be there? How long they stay in care? Often the picture we have in our minds is based on false or outdated information. Because we want […]

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Adoption, Children in Foster Care, Foster Parenting, Make a Difference MondaysJan. 9, 2017

Make a Difference Monday | The Weight of Saying “No”

Today, I am a foster mom who is overwhelmed; brought to tears and on my knees in prayer. I have spit-up on my sweater; I haven’t gotten a full night’s sleep in 7 months, and I’m holding a crying baby as I type. But these things aren’t the reason for my tears; they do not play a role in my broken heart. Why the sadness? Why the heavy heart when all in my life appears to be going so well? Because two weeks ago I said “no.” No to the phone call asking us if we’d like to adopt two […]

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