Advocacy, Children in Foster Care, Forgotten Fridays, Foster Parenting, Vulnerable ParentsDec. 14, 2018

Forgotten Friday | Life After Adoption: She Misses Them

Not long ago, I was putting our little Layla to bed when she began asking me about her birth parents.

“When am I going to see them again?”

“I don’t know honey,” is all I could answer at first.

“I know it’s really hard but you have to trust Mommy and Daddy, ’cause we love you and we are here to protect you and keep you safe. We also want to do what is healthy for you and we don’t feel it is healthy for you right now to see your Birth Mommy and Birth Daddy.”

She seemed to take that, but then went on.

“I….just wish that, like, I could go to the park with just my Birth Mom and Birth Dad and like…Bobby and Dayd. And just us.”

You know how sad it is to look into your 5-year-old’s eyes and know that she has experienced more hurt in her little life then I have in my 31 years? I hate that.

It is also challenging to know how much to say because I want to show respect to her birth parent, yet not give her a fantasy that is not healthy, either.

Prayerfully, I said, “Layla, your birth parents loved you but they didn’t know how to take care of you. They made bad choices…and they did not keep you safe like a Mommy and Daddy is supposed to do.”

I then reaffirmed our love for her, but her final words to me just broke my heart, not in a hurtful way towards me, but for her, my daughter.

“I just wish they would have made good choices!!”

As her Mommy, all I can do is pray for healing on her heart, pray for great wisdom and for Jesus to love her through me in the way she needs. Sadly, I fail more often then I want…but ultimately, God is Grace, to me and to her.

I can’t really stop here though…

What about the kids who have no one to sit with them, love them and pray with them? They have no one to process their emotions with. There are so many kids who–at this moment–are confused, hurting and alone. But it doesn’t have to be this way, my friends.

You can use your time, talents and voice to make a difference in the life of one child.

I would love to pray with you and answer any questions you may have about this but a good place to start is here:

The King will reply, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25:40

Jami Kaeb

Jami is the founder and Executive Director of The Forgotten Initiative. Jami and her husband, Clint, are parents to seven children: two biological daughters, two sons adopted internationally (Guatemala and Uganda) and a sibling set of three (two boys and a girl) adopted from foster care. Jami shared often on her blog, Life with a Personal God, during her family’s adoption and foster care journeys, and she is now sharing them here in hopes of being an encouragement to you!

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